I WAS MISSING MY BELOVED BABA
W. D. Kain
This was followed by another message that official announcement would be broadcast. Immediately I rang up the Minister of Information and Broadcasting (K. Shah) and drove to his residence. By this time it was almost mid-night, the Minister was out of station and his wife suggested I should get in touch with the Director of News, All India Radio.
I got Mr. R. L. Handa (a friend of mine who had been with us as Press Secretary to the President Dr. Rajinder Prashad) on the phone and impressed upon him the necessity of broadcasting the news in the early morning News Bulletin. Next morning people woke up to receive the sad tidings of Baba having dropped the body much to their anguish and grief.
Later on frantic efforts were made to postpone interment of the body. As for me I wanted to be there at once. But try as I may, there were no means of getting to Ahmednagar in time, there being no air service to Nagar. I was feeling helpless and in that sad moment got in touch with Wing Commander M. M. Sakhre. The nearest aerodrome being at Poona and so far away from Ahmednagar, we could not reach there even by plane.
In the meantime a message was received that the interment had been postponed to February 7th. So many Baba lovers wanted to go to Ahmednagar from Delhi. About 15 of us were prepared to go to Poona by chartered plane and from there taxi to Meherabad but it could not be managed.
At long last it was decided that Wing Commander Sakhre and I, along with a couple of devotees, leave for Poona immediately via Bombay Central. The railway timings were very tight. We had hardly 55 minutes gap to change at Bombay Central for Victoria Terminus, Bombay. Wing Commander Sakhre arranged for two jeeps to pick us up at Bombay central Railway Station to be dropped at Bombay Victoria Terminus, making it possible for us to entrain for Poona. The two jeeps with horns blowing like a Fire Brigade screeched along roads of Bombay ignoring all traffic signals and got us into the Poona-Ahmednagar train in time.
It may be mentioned that throughout that week I had not shed a single tear even though my Beloved's separation was gnawing at my heart because "duties" bound me down. But as soon as I entered the tomb and struck my head at the crypt near Baba's feet, flood gates of tears opened and like an inconsolable baby who had lost its mother I wept, crying Baba, Baba, and in an almost unconscious state was taken out of the holy presence by the endearing Mandali members.
And then came the Ladies Mandali, led by Mehera Ma and Sister Mani, who supervised the interment ceremony with great composure as had been dictated by Baba. But even now after a lapse of almost 25 years I can visualise the grace writ large on their faces.
In spite of all the consolation by the Mandali I was missing my beloved Baba among all the gathering. Brother Adi gave me lots of advice as detailed below and I remembered then a saying by a saint:
HAVE FAITH: BABA IS ALWAYS WITH US
Faith is tested by the depth of sorrow and love is tested by the height of separation. Both are equally poignant. Our individual suffering is incomparably insignificant to what beloved Meher Baba suffered for all of us. Let each one of us suffer, which we do after all, each for himself or herself.
In suffering is found the joy of life, and in joy of suffering is found the bliss of existence. If after the dropping of His body by Meher Baba we feel that the ship of our life is rudderless, such a feeling should not be there, because it would mean that the meaning of our lives given to us by Baba during His life time had no meaning. But such is not the case since we did look upon our lives as full of meaning during the life time of Baba. Therefore, our feeling of emptiness and hollowness after Baba dropped His body would be groundless and illogical.
Baba had declared, "Believe that I am the ancient one. Do not doubt for a moment. There is no possibility of My being anyone else. I am not this body that you see; it is only a coat I put on when I visit you. I am infinite consciousness."
We loved and served Baba. During his life time He often awakened us to keep a firm hold on His daman. In fact it was He who had held us to his daman and I always wondered why He again and again warned us to beware lest His daman should slip off our hands. It was His way to keep us alert and active. It behoves us therefore to hold on to His daman now and forever. It was easier to hold on to His daman when He was in His body. Because He held us to his daman by His repeated reminders and warning, He made it easy for us to hold on to His daman when he is not in his body.
The important thing to remember is that Baba is ever with us
and in us. Let us seek Baba as Meher Avatar in our hearts and
pray that He protects and guides us to get rid of illusion and
enlightens us with the ever changing knowledge and bliss of
Existence. ADI K. IRANI
MY LIFE WITH MEHER BABA, pp. 85-88
1993 © W. D. Kain