Book 3


eric solibakke

agora online html edition
agora press
Oslo, Norway
second edition 1998
1992, 1998 © eric solibakke


avatar meher baba ki jai!

to the avatar
whose name within our memory is
meher baba
and to his lovers and would-be lovers worldwide

victory is baba's!


  1. the avatar lives a life that changes
  2. oh post of reality in the ground of illusion
  3. quest for self drives the universe
  4. the projected personality
  5. today is today
  6. you take the threat out of the world
  7. absolute oneness
  8. you truly love, love truly both ways
  9. you come among us as human
  10. in all the faces of the world
  11. if god answered his question "who am i?"
  12. the rhythm, melody and dance of doubles and halves
  13. you reveal yourself individually in every being
  14. oh well of renewal in a war torn world
  15. oh absolute vacuum of all-pervading ocean
  16. oh water of oneness that wets every heart
  17. you are the oneness of only love
  18. the light of oneness casts no shadow
  19. the world with all its tools and toys
  20. even the slightest stirring of the all-pervading ocean
  21. i row with a pair of these shapely branches
  22. the whole of life distracts the pilgrim
  23. a morning of mankind dawns in your dream
  24. you author every drama
  25. you beyond-mind who divide yourself
  26. you give me the gift of seeing you
  27. from bedrock reality in the oneness of only love
  28. the colorful weavings of opposites
  29. all is you
  30. morning concert on the street
  31. you reveal your presence by a silence
  32. the moment one speaks
  33. in the silence beyond every distraction
  34. everything lies within you
  35. oh light without shadow
  36. oh light of oneness that shines without shadow
  37. who am i to put my foot down
  38. you are the point the pendulum of breath hangs from
  39. i'm an illusion
  40. i am a leaf on the meher baba tree
  41. your power is so great that you can kill me dead
  42. shake me out of these stupidities
  43. open my skull and let all the birds of opinion
  44. i'm the biggest hypocrite in the world
  45. when i express love for you
  46. emperor xerxes punished the ocean with whips
  47. a brain like scissors and a heart like glue
  48. surprising little imagined acts of aggression
  49. my mind says wooing words, like a suitor
  50. i call on your forgiveness again and again
  51. remove every desire from me
  52. curses pop into consciousness like gas bubbles
  53. when i raise the glass of love to my lips
  54. those who will arrest you
  55. i was losing touch with gratitude
  56. obviously there's a film festival in the theater
  57. i can't win with me
  58. i call things real that are not real
  59. the world like a hungry tiger
  60. how can i be so foolish as to fall
  61. the world doesn't always play with me
  62. maya pinches me between the tools of man and woman
  63. do not cling to any opposite
  64. come back to reality
  65. i am a manifestation of your manifestation
  66. without your love, i would only lie
  67. a golden rain of gratitude falls into my heart
  68. i throw myself into the ocean of oneness
  69. thoughts pass dreamily by
  70. you turn the key of love that unlocks the heart
  71. let words of only love flow
  72. oh unbegun and never-ending one
  73. here you are in your unspeakable indivisibility
  74. indivisible oneness enters into duality
  75. duality provides a window on unity
  76. everything streams out of you
  77. just as sunrise reminds us of sunset
  78. morning cuts darkness into the appearance of manyness
  79. we co-dream your creation, or better yet
  80. you are the dreamer whose dream we live in
  81. einstein made us see that matter is in fact energy
  82. when you turn the pages of the book
  83. mind projects the creation in space and time
  84. everything in creation comes into form within self
  85. oh oneness at work everywhere in stillness
  86. men and women consistently fail
  87. oh constant and continual renewal of the ancient one
  88. the main work is to bring back into the heart
  89. this flower of love, this creation
  90. everything in creation makes a show
  91. of course real love looks shockingly different
  92. whenever i think a thought consciously
  93. every thought hides half its truth
  94. i can't say light. i can't say dark
  95. enlightenment is the final clear seeing
  96. without you i'm lonely in a forest of thoughts
  97. the golden rain of gratefulness
  98. you say that we have had enough of words
  99. your words nourish the conscious heart

winnowing the ocean

  1. eternal perfect beloved

    the avatar lives a life that changes
    the direction of human history
    by renewing the life of love on earth.

    love awakens from its frozen sleep
    within the heart of mankind,
    and this divine awakening steams joyfully
    through every channel in the entire creation.

    of course god comes into his creation,
    yet what an unearned and undeserved gift!
    mind can't grasp it, and heart runs over
    with wonder that words can't say.
    but life must live it.

    no customs or habits can hold it.
    no silly old man's dusty lips
    can bind it in split hairs,
    nor can any woman's vegetable fingers
    starve it into submission.

    oh beloved, you renew the world
    in the blood and image of your own body,
    and we who are the world go wide eyed in wonder.

    the great wonder is not that you are god,
    but rather we're astonished and awestruck
    that you should become a man among mankind.

    that you should put on this suit of flesh
    and make it noble for all who wear it,
    awakens our hearts to divine love
    and humbles all pride.

    the true power of your love silences the tongue
    and then mind itself.
    in the face of love's bliss,
    mind discovers its irrelevance.
    in the unifying grip of love,
    mind recognizes its divided nature
    and sees underlying unity in every duality.

    in the humor of your light love, oh beloved,
    mind enjoys the divine pleasure
    of dissolving its own bindings.

    winnowing the ocean

  2. eternal perfect beloved

    oh post of reality in the ground of illusion,
    only you matter.
    the body is your temple, your home.
    feelings are offerings of sacrifice, your love.
    thoughts are priests in attendance, your truth.

    you seed consciousness
    in the beyond and beyond beyond states,
    which germinate when touched by the question "who am i?"

    you sprout through seven stages of evolution
    as mineral, vegetable and animal,
    until you flower as humanity in reincarnation.

    you bear the fruit of infinite power, knowledge and bliss
    in the form of yogis, masters and saints
    on the path of involution
    through the subtle and mental worlds.

    finally you return to timeless seed
    in your nondual state of immeasurable potential,
    neither alive nor dead,
    neither in the world nor yet totally out of it.

    oh love, light, law,
    negative thoughts and reactions arise from
    struggling against your power and authority.
    fear protects desires and their dreams of fulfilment
    which are the raw materials of daily life.

    oh passionless and aggressionfree,
    every person challenges you with his own private test
    of your authenticity,
    and struggles through the stages of acceptance
    -- denial, bargaining, helplessness --
    before withering away to dust at your feet.

    winnowing the ocean

  3. eternal perfect beloved

    quest for self drives the universe.
    love fuels that engine of consciousness.

    in the realm of imagination
    where one poses the question "who am i?"
    self answers imaginatively "i am all and everything."

    after searching for self and longing for self,
    self finds itself to be you, beloved,
    through the eternal marriage that none can undo.

    when every duality admits its deeper unity
    the creation disappears into "i am only god is,"
    before the question "who am i?"
    created the universe in reply.

    all are self, having come out from self,
    existing within self,
    and returning to self without ever really leaving it.

    let me then recognize each as my self
    without false attitudes of acceptance and rejection.
    let me see through the disguises of duality
    and behold the indivisible reality of oneness in each.

    winnowing the ocean

  4. eternal perfect beloved

    the projected personality,
    that dualistic play of opposites
    in fields of conflict and resolution,
    doesn't find god.
    god finds god.

    he finds himself.
    the will of oneness penetrates every purpose
    with its drive toward balance.
    the indivisible oneness finds itself.

    winnowing the ocean

  5. eternal perfect beloved

    today is today.
    yesterday, today was tomorrow.
    tomorrow, today will be yesterday.
    merely by shifting viewpoints,
    today becomes yesterday and tomorrow.
    by removing viewpoints, today becomes eternity.

    who projects these viewpoints? brahma, the creator.
    who maintains these viewpoints? vishnu, the preserver.
    who removes these viewpoints? shiva, the dissolver.

    who remains unchanged
    whether viewpoints are projected or not?
    you, beloved all-pervading ocean of oneness.
    you, unchangeable screen of reality
    on which the mass of viewpoints are projected.
    you, avatar, with your divine society of sadgurus,
    saliks and majzoobs.

    why are viewpoints projected?
    in order to answer the goad question of creation
    "who am i?"

    winnowing the ocean

  6. eternal perfect beloved

    you take the threat out of the world
    and transform it into the playground of your awakening.
    the entire world has no value beyond revealing you.
    everything in form and time depends on you,
    returns to you, veils your formlessness
    in the shapes of love in motion.

    oh divine beloved, even the smallest and meanest person
    can imagine a golden mountain.
    how easy then for you to imagine worlds.

    winnowing the ocean

  7. eternal perfect beloved

    absolute oneness
    and the all-pervading ocean of only love,
    this is who "i am" really is.

    no chains of dualities linked by logic
    or by sequence in time
    can bind absolute oneness
    or anchor the all-pervading ocean of only love.

    whatever surfaces on this ocean,
    whether seemingly good or bad,
    the reality behind it is only love.
    whatever moral judgment the limited human mind
    may place upon public or personal events,
    the underlying motivation is only love.

    love is absolute, beyond opposites.
    the opposite of hate is craving.
    love is oneness.
    blessing also has no opposite.

    why should anybody cling to the shady humors
    of relative merits?
    nobody can defend them against the illumination
    of your absolute love, oh beloved,
    which penetrates through solid earth
    as easily as through the air of thought.

    you love and bless, but never hate or damn.
    the expression "god damn it" can never
    be anything more than imagined fiction.

    out of love comes knowledge,
    out of knowledge, power.
    out of only love come infinite knowledge and power.

    winnowing the ocean

  8. eternal perfect beloved

    you truly love, love truly both ways.

    you give us the excitement, variety, challenge,
    beauty and awakening
    of participation in your creation.

    and you also in your love
    take away the limitations, burdens, trappedness, frustration
    and helplessness
    of being caught up in your creation.

    winnowing the ocean

  9. eternal perfect beloved

    you come among us as human
    to show us your unspeakable face,
    which is beyond words and mind.

    actually you are always present everywhere
    whether in your physical body or not.
    the creation itself is your body
    and the continuous focus of your unsleeping attention.

    in reality everyone is the only-one.
    no creature or thing can ever be separate from you,
    though everyone experiences the illusion of separation
    as if it were genuine fact.

    you are unconsciously present in all creatures.
    you are in various states of becoming conscious
    in human beings.
    you are fully conscious in some few humans.
    you live a fully conscious life in the forms
    of the avatar.

    hail to you, oh godman,
    and hail to your masters, saints and lovers,
    and all the dualistic phantoms of your fancy.

    winnowing the ocean

  10. eternal perfect beloved

    in all the faces of the world
    mind sees infinite variety,
    whereas heart sees only one face,
    that of the beloved.

    mind prefers the excitement of dancing
    with a stranger,
    whereas heart longs only to embrace
    the ancient beloved.

    winnowing the ocean

  11. eternal perfect beloved

    if god answered his question "who am i?"
    with only words,
    the creation would be no more than a sound,
    a complex music.

    god answers his own question
    not only in thought and sound,
    but also in solid and moving matter,
    mountain and sea, fire and air.

    therefore i must answer my own question "who am i?"
    not only in thoughts and words
    but also in solid and concrete actions in daily life.

    the real meaning of his words
    can only be grasped in everyday action,
    where the hands are dictionary
    and the feet syntax.
    a lived word bears weight the rest won't.

    winnowing the ocean

  12. eternal perfect beloved

    the rhythm, melody and dance of doubles and halves
    cover you over with their love songs
    in all three worlds and all six senses.

    but you can't really be divided or doubled
    into courtship or consummation,
    orgasm or afterglow, devotion or divorce.
    for you who are love itself,
    these are only your theater of playful amusements.

    when a spring breeze shifts and sways
    through flowering limbs covered in greengold leaves,
    who could imagine a finer game?

    winnowing the ocean

  13. eternal perfect beloved

    you reveal yourself individually in every being,
    though only the awakening human notices you.

    you awaken yourself in every human being,
    first in the confusion of seeing your beauty
    in the creation,
    and searching for you out there,
    then in the conviction of recognizing your truth
    in one's own consciousness,
    and seeking within for proof of your existence.

    you surprise us all, beloved,
    by showing yourself in love.
    then we catch sight of you in our own heart,
    and begin to cultivate your companionship.
    what an amazing companion you are,
    so shy to begin with, and so bold in the end!

    at first it seems to the lover that he is playing
    with an image of himself in a mirror.
    then he begins to suspect that the mirror image
    is more real than himself.
    then he discovers that he himself is that mirror image.

    finally he sees that you, beloved, are the reality
    which in his innocence he has been mirroring.
    then you, eternal all-pervading, you remove the mirror.

    winnowing the ocean

  14. eternal perfect beloved

    oh well of renewal in a war torn world,
    your oneness binds both friends and enemies.
    you are the unity everywhere present,
    even in the most raw and dire conflict.

    like radio waves, who could know you
    without the right receiver?
    neither agreement nor disagreement can reach you
    in your silent and wall-free citadel beyond opposites
    in the blissful realm of reality.

    winnowing the ocean

  15. eternal perfect beloved

    oh absolute vacuum of all-pervading ocean,
    the entire creation disappears into you
    as if into a so-called black hole,
    like a dreamer awakening to the light of day.

    indivisible one without another,
    you project creation's fantastic play of faces
    in an illusion of space and time
    by pretending to divide yourself
    into the dualities of everyday life.

    we struggle to master cause and effect
    in fields of success and failure,
    while you who are the unity within every duality
    reside equally in failure as in success.

    your borderless totality, beloved,
    pulls our hearts off the chopping block
    where divided mind lets fall the axe.
    your love overflows the mind's narrow banks
    and floods the entire consciousness with grace.

    we don't mourn our losses.
    flood again, beloved, and sweep away
    every antique and dilapidated reminder of mind's distress.

    winnowing the ocean

  16. eternal perfect beloved

    oh water of oneness that wets every heart
    in a single wave,
    ultimate love is union in indivisible divinity
    where every opposite melts into its mate
    and disappears in the oneness of only love.
    gone punishment. gone approval. gone longing.

    oh man, you think there's something wrong in the world
    because you perceive that something is very right.
    such attitudes are the play of restless mind
    in the field of relative values.
    every word is a half-truth.

    the entire creation expresses self
    but real self lies beyond creative expression,
    where no half-truth can survive.

    winnowing the ocean

  17. eternal perfect beloved

    you are the oneness of only love
    that shines without shadow,
    illuminating every nook and cranny of creation,
    every surprise twist of the world's root
    and every shade of its flower.

    in your tower like a lighthouse
    you shine into every furthest corner of creation,
    dazzling us as you reflect on the splintered shards
    of mirror that make up mind's thought.

    you enter the heart like sunlight
    suddenly streaming through a hole in the cloud cover.
    you renew everything in a morning of warm color.
    old dreams fade from memory as real day begins.

    oh dawn of love in the grey heart of mankind!
    your light easily penetrates every hiding place,
    casting recognition everywhere.

    oh springtime of divine longing,
    you bring eternal newness which never ages,
    ancient and brand new in one,
    seed and fruit in one.

    no matter how often you visit earth,
    oh ancient one, you're always brand new.
    you fuse the old and new into one that renews each thing
    all the way back to its source in you.

    winnowing the ocean

  18. eternal perfect beloved

    the light of oneness casts no shadow,
    neither within the mountain nor under the tree.

    no enemy finds cover.
    no deceptive appearance performs its magic.
    no garments create false mysteries.
    no night falls nor winter settles in.
    no cloud comes between.

    no horizon cuts across the face of time
    with its cycles of waiting for beginnings and ends.
    never does it dawn, nor does it ever set.

    this light of love,
    absolutely unclouded purity brighter than any jewel,
    sparks every illumination in existence.

    oh divine love, dazzled by your brilliance,
    we drop our eyes and risk adventures in darkness.

    winnowing the ocean

  19. eternal perfect beloved

    the world with all its tools and toys,
    mind with all its judgments and comparisons,
    emotions with all their power and passion,
    alas, beloved, they are all bits of dream stuff.

    only you persist beyond the awakening of love.
    you are made of love stuff
    from beyond the range of mind's constant divorce
    and emotion's continual reverse.
    even so, you urge us to love the world
    as your own personal game,
    the tool of your imagination.

    you say, love me, love my dream!
    but don't be fooled into taking it for real.
    be a true sufi -- in the dream but not of it.

    winnowing the ocean

  20. eternal perfect beloved

    even the slightest stirring of the all-pervading ocean
    whips up the bubbles of aphrodite's beauty
    and oneness is lost in desire.

    worlds in all their loveliness arise
    in this foam of longing and this thrill of beauty
    that captures one's favor.

    fleeting worlds in creation shift and flow
    like whitecaps on ocean waves.

    winnowing the ocean

  21. eternal perfect beloved

    i row with a pair of these shapely branches,
    oars that move ships.

    one of them like a handle on the ocean
    steers a ship in its progress
    from the near shore of manyness
    to the far shore of oneness.

    as i journey beyond ocean,
    i carry a single one on my shoulder,
    the oar of only love,
    which winnows seed from chaff
    on the breath of the mountain.

    winnowing the ocean

  22. eternal perfect beloved

    the whole of life distracts the pilgrim
    on the way to divinity.
    every focus of attention other than god
    hides god -- art, science, religion, business, family.

    the pilgrim travels from hiding place to hiding place,
    first as numerous as rain drops,
    then less numerous and deeper
    like streams of attention
    moving in specific directions.

    distractions themselves carry the pilgrim
    toward the goal as attention grows deeper
    and gains momentum.
    they hide the goal,
    yet they also provide the vehicle for finding it.

    the pilgrim sweeps along in a few great rivers
    destined to wash his eyes in waves of revelation
    as they enter the all-pervading ocean of oneness
    where no distraction exists.

    the very hiding places of god prove to be
    his picaresque theater of revelation.

    winnowing the ocean

  23. eternal perfect beloved

    a morning of mankind dawns in your dream,
    which is the world's everyday reality.
    the alarm clock rings in rifle shots, rockets
    and the rage of car bombs on crowded streets.

    startled and disoriented
    mankind fumbles for the off button.
    the first beams of morning sun
    penetrate cracks between drawn curtains
    and touch the wall with nearly painful brightness.

    oh beloved awakener, you create this clock
    to insure that we not miss the morning,
    and you are yourself the off button we fumble for.

    we struggle against the weight of sleep,
    inviting sunlight into the swarm of fragments
    and half-forgotten fantasies in our brains.

    by your grace, beloved, we awaken
    and flex in the cool enthusiasm
    of morning mind on a day of freedom.

    winnowing the ocean

  24. eternal perfect beloved

    you author every drama, no matter whether tragic or comic,
    which plays in the theater of space and time,
    and you act every role yourself.
    you observe the performance through tears and laughter,
    and applaud or boo as you wish.

    you write reviews and interpret the text
    in learned journals.
    much to my surprise i learn that all dramas,
    despite their enormous variety,
    have the same theme
    and could as well have the same name, Who Am I?

    one group of plays deals exhaustively
    with the discovery or rather development of the theater.

    a second group examines the full range
    of possible productions,
    making generous use of every capability
    offered by the theater.

    the third group goes backstage to expose
    the entire workings of the theater,
    and dismantle it so to speak right down
    to its first laid cornerstone.

    winnowing the ocean

  25. eternal perfect beloved

    you beyond-mind who divide yourself on the edge of mind
    so that you can see and hear yourself
    in the space-time image of mind's mirror,
    you watch the parade of yourself moving
    to the cadence of cause and effect.

    you allow love to take up arms on both sides.
    you sing and dance the world's entertainment everywhere.

    winnowing the ocean

  26. eternal perfect beloved

    you give us the gift of seeing you
    in your indescribable simplicity
    beyond the borders of mind,
    and knowing you in your inexhaustible complexity
    within the continuously falling apart realm
    of mind's creativity.

    nothing can be added to or subtracted from
    your unthinkable simplicity.
    anything and everything can be added to
    and subtracted from your fascinating complexity
    of creative activity.

    not even so much as a shadow of daily life exists
    in your pure, undivided oneness,
    but your infinite love allows us to divide you
    into our countless desires and satisfactions
    and our innumerable fears and sufferings.

    in that playful space,
    which is after all an illusion
    that maya fools us into accepting as solemn reality,
    please allow me to give you a gift in return:
    that i live the truth of your loving simplicity
    at all times,
    even while waxing and waning with maya
    in the seductions of everyday illusion.

    to see you means nothing if i can't also please you
    by inviting you to participate
    in every activity of my day.

    winnowing the ocean

  27. eternal perfect beloved

    from bedrock reality in the oneness of only love
    torrents of radiant eternity cascade
    into the shadowfree heart,
    and further flow into the physical world
    through the abdomen nurtured in love's discipline.

    just as reality's divine oneness cannot be divided,
    so illusion's apparent manyness
    cannot really be divided.

    love wills to live the life of indivisibility.
    love thrives on indivisible truth.
    love loves the indivisible.

    winnowing the ocean

  28. eternal perfect beloved

    the colorful weavings of opposites
    drape over your real form
    like the clothes of an emperor.

    you are the very first to point out and insist
    that you are in fact naked.
    despite the shocked face of our protests,
    we continue to appreciate the details
    of fine weaving and tailoring.

    what stunning mountains and fruitful valleys!
    what gorgeous dawns arise out of star black night!
    what symphonies of speech and song!
    oh beloved, even a child rejoices in the beauty
    and functioning of your imperial garments.

    only profound foolishness, then,
    can accept your senseless words.
    what a bolt of sudden wonder
    to see the truth of your indescribable nakedness!

    i was constantly clothing you with my eyes
    while you laid aside every new suit with loving patience
    and invited me to look directly at you.
    meanwhile i clothed myself also
    with odds and ends left over from your fabrics.

    oh beloved, the moment i saw your nakedness
    i discovered my own, and for the first time
    i giggled with true innocence.

    you are the immeasurable light of oneness
    clothed in the costumes of three worlds.
    each costume is tailored from fabrics
    woven of conscious and unconscious threads.

    you parade these dazzling suits in public
    before the admiring eyes of everyone.
    you also plant those few among the crowds
    who scandalize everyone by insisting
    that you are naked.

    fashion parades in fancy cuts and colors.
    all are dressed in unreal garments
    which hide the essential truth of selfhood.
    only the true emperor is naked
    without a stitch of fashion to hide behind.

    winnowing the ocean

  29. eternal perfect beloved

    all is you,
    even these thoughts
    projected on the screen of consciousness.
    you cannot be hidden anywhere
    because you are the hiding place and the disguise as well.

    since you set your footprint on my heart
    i am contented seeing you and longing to see you.
    both have their characteristic sweetness.
    longing is another of your many disguises.

    since your inner appearance dawned in my consciousness,
    i'm knowledgeable in the abc's of your divine language
    which fits so poorly into human words.
    your simplicity evades human meaning.

    absolute one-and-only-one
    with whom there is no other to compare,
    suppose we compare christ with krishna
    or buddha with muhammad?
    your bodies are all made of comparisons
    but your love remains untouched
    by shifts of time and place.

    how can i choose, beloved, when your song
    enchants me equally in arabic, sanskrit and greek?
    oh thanksgiving heart, welcome the singer of silences.

    winnowing the ocean

  30. eternal perfect beloved

    morning concert on the city street --
    vehicles accelerate glissando through the gears.
    horn jazz cuts to the bone of silence.

    your silence is not the silence which mind knows
    when it pushes away all sound.
    yours is original and ever unbroken,
    the silence which mind experiences only in deep sleep.
    all sounds which arise in you
    are in fact only variations of silence.

    compared to your silence, your sound,
    which is the sound of all worlds taken together,
    amounts to less than a pin-drop.

    above the teachings of the prophets
    and the singing of the angels
    in the stillness of impeccable bliss,
    you seal the whispering lips of mind
    with the kiss of unthinkable silence.

    winnowing the ocean

  31. eternal perfect beloved

    you reveal your presence by a silence
    so deep and profound as never to be broken.
    never a hint or echo or even a shadow of sound
    ever enters the mountain of solid rock silence
    to which the worlds cling like shallow caves.

    no tools or techniques of noisy busy mind
    can chew or chop their way into your silence.
    no beam of curiosity can shine in there.
    no stone tossed into your silence
    ever reports contact with the bottom.
    sooner the stone itself dries up
    like a drop in the sun than it find bottom
    in your unlimited sky of silence.

    asking to see you is like asking to hear silence.
    only your silence waits with infinite patience
    for the end of speech, listening to every word.
    and in fact, beloved, only your silence speaks.
    the significance of any syllable
    and its only real message is your silence
    that it struggles against in its short life.

    you announce your arrival by a living silence
    that participates in every sound in existence
    from the om of creation and the ah of sustenance
    to the hum of dissolution.
    your eternal silence, beloved, can only be lived.

    winnowing the ocean

  32. eternal perfect beloved

    the moment one speaks,
    a veil of fantasy falls over truth.

    all speaking tongues fork like the serpent's,
    saying only half truths,
    separating cause from effect,
    hiding oneness behind a screen of flashy contrasts.

    you are truth, oh all-pervading beloved,
    which cannot be assembled or taken apart
    into befores and afters, edges and middles,
    or any other partially exclusive concepts.

    you are as big as silence and as small as sound.

    winnowing the ocean

  33. eternal perfect beloved

    in the silence beyond every distraction
    of man and machine,
    you call your lovers with a song.

    those who hear you, sit in rapt charm
    like the fully absorbed face of lord buddha.
    in this everpresent silence
    attention moves behind mind's temporary meanings,
    far from the incoming deliveries of sensual information.
    with such a subtle melody krishna summons his gopis.

    your immeasurable silence, like dreamless sleep,
    reveals the face of reality itself,
    at once unspeakably empty
    while at the same time the source, cradle
    and inescapable participant in all fullness.

    oh beloved, see that!
    even the concept of silence
    doesn't describe you properly
    since it calls to mind the duality of silence and sound.
    your real face lies in unity beyond all duality.

    we might as well search for you
    in the squeals of children at play
    or the whistling rumble of landing airplanes.
    you clothe yourself there too
    in your inescapable omnipresence,
    but your real form, your naked beauty,
    is the shape of undisturbed silence.

    winnowing the ocean

  34. eternal perfect beloved

    everything lies within you
    and you are found everywhere,
    yet you have no size at all.

    space spins out of every creature
    according to its own dimensions,
    so convincing and solid
    that the mouse can't imagine
    where the bird goes in winter,
    and the farmer wonders
    over the astronomer's numbers.

    winnowing the ocean

  35. eternal perfect beloved

    oh light without shadow,
    when i first heard that you would come to earth
    in a form that casts no shadow,
    my mind was baffled and i imagined you
    appearing in some kind of transparent glass body
    that allows light to stream through.

    now, by your grace, i meet you
    and discover that your human body,
    though beautiful far above the ordinary
    and radiant with its own inner light,
    casts a shadow just like other human bodies.

    but the light you bring,
    the radiance that shines in your face,
    that illuminates your words and gestures,
    the heart-light that pours from your forehead and crown,
    this light casts no shadow.

    rays of this light wipe away shadows.
    they pass through the densest substance,
    penetrating and illuminating the darkest shade.

    i recognize you as the one long ago promised
    by buddha, by christ, by muhammad.
    oh incomparable one,
    no shadow remains in your brilliance.

    winnowing the ocean

  36. eternal perfect beloved

    oh light of oneness that shines without shadow
    from every thing and being in creation,
    you are the ocean of love in which all creation floats
    like vishnu in the ocean of kindest milk
    from the breast of mother's care.

    mind can come to the beach
    but cannot swim in the ocean of oneness.
    one drop swallows the entire vast complex
    of mind's creation.

    humans fish around for you in beauty and grief
    without recognizing the net of conditionings
    that determines their cause and effect bondage.

    all creation floats in your heart
    like planets in space.

    winnowing the ocean

  37. eternal perfect beloved

    who am i to put my foot down
    on one side or another of an obvious duality,
    or take my stand on good or bad
    when in fact all are you?

    if i must project a point of judgment in the fantasy
    of being separate,
    then whatever unveils my closeness to you is good
    and whatever supports my fantasy of separation is bad.

    you live your life through every sentient being.
    what's good for every being is good for you.

    oh beloved, in the myths of india you are an ocean
    of purest mother's milk.
    a drop of your ambrosial ocean
    lifts the lover to immortality.

    rain your ocean on mankind, beloved,
    and break the spell of separation.
    all the world's oceans taste bitter with the salt
    of tears shed for false values
    and loveless conventions.

    as beautiful as buddha, as loving as christ,
    as playful as krishna and courageous as ram,
    as intelligent as zarathustra, as noble as muhammad,
    oh beloved, no flattery touches your heart.

    only by pleasing you in the way i live my daily life
    can i enter your company, embrace you and melt in love.

    winnowing the ocean

  38. eternal perfect beloved

    you are the point the pendulum of breath hangs from
    as it swings back and forth
    in response to the push and pull of duality.

    by the power of your imagination
    you fashion the entire creation
    from nothing other than only love.

    you bestow blessings in the ocean
    whose still water purifies itself
    in apparent waves, tides and currents of only love.
    you bind them and free them in drops and floods.

    you just put your hands together palm to palm
    and all three worlds drown in the total vacuum
    of absolute oneness in the ocean of only love.

    winnowing the ocean

  39. eternal perfect beloved

    i'm an illusion.
    you are real.
    no escape from illusion for me.
    every me can be no more than a shadow of you,
    all-pervading ocean of only love.

    as all dualities, contrasts, separations are swallowed up
    in the indivisible oneness of only love,
    you and i join in one, beloved.
    all my smallness evaporates in your almighty truth,
    far more intimate than marriage or the physical embrace.

    oh glue of illusion's ragged parts,
    in the creative profusion of our imagination
    we day-dreamed divorces, other lovers and beloveds.
    as one we dream the worlds and the laws which move them.
    lover becomes beloved.
    both disappear in love.

    you are the real one living my life.
    i'm the imagined one living it.
    let imagination not interfere with reality.
    let me live my life exactly as you live it.

    winnowing the ocean

  40. eternal perfect beloved

    i am a leaf on the meher baba tree.
    my beauty serves only to draw attention to you,
    so that a passer-by may say,
    "what a handsome tree, a mighty tree indeed!"
    your roots reach into deepest space
    and your branches cradle earth
    like the nest of a small and fragile bird.

    happy am i to be a part of you,
    through the season of foliage, oh beloved,
    and happy am i to send my life into you
    at the end of this season,
    and drop my dry remains as dust at your feet.

    winnowing the ocean

  41. eternal perfect beloved

    your power is so great that you can kill me dead
    even with the tiny tap tap of valves
    in the heating system.
    they make me crazy with frustration.
    my concentration leaks away in vain struggles
    to locate and remove the source of disturbance.

    day after day i trace pipes in the walls,
    following the sound through the system in the cellar
    only to get lost in dead ends.
    i fill my ears with wax. it doesn't help.
    i press them with my palms.

    let the system chatter its stupid message.
    i'm conquered, left to die on the battlefield
    of loving you and submitting to your will.

    other rooms in the apartment don't suffer this sound.
    why does it tap only in that place
    where i sit to contemplate your beauty
    and enter into the enjoyment of your company?
    why do you send this irritation against our intimacy?

    oh beloved, don't hide behind these clicks.
    kill me quickly.
    it's better to die and find you
    than to live in frustrated longing.

    winnowing the ocean

  42. eternal perfect beloved

    shake me out of these stupidities
    that pull my mind like dough on the baker's table.
    a little sugar makes cake,
    a little salt makes bread.

    how long can these pastries
    make themselves look interesting?

    winnowing the ocean

  43. eternal perfect beloved

    open my skull and let all the birds of opinion
    fly away in flocks like pillars of smoke.

    let even the empty cage of skull fly too.
    leave nothing behind but brilliant oneness
    that casts no shadow.

    winnowing the ocean

  44. eternal perfect beloved

    i'm the biggest hypocrite in the world,
    because beyond a shadow of doubt everything is you,
    and only you really exist.

    meanwhile i'm pretending to be me
    acting a role in your dream of creation.
    it's a wonderful part, beloved,
    playing your devotee, lover and slave.
    but in reality it's a sham and hypocrisy
    for which i deserve strict reprimand
    and reminder that really nobody and nothing
    can be anything other than you.

    absolutely indivisible one,
    prevent me from building false walls for and against
    this illusion of preferring the beautiful to the ugly,
    the clever to the dull.

    oh beloved, you are equally in all.
    what meaningless hypocrisy then to accept the important
    and reject the trivial.
    no matter what number i dial, you pick up the phone
    and reply according to the whim of your creative play.

    winnowing the ocean

  45. eternal perfect beloved

    when i express love for you,
    it's really you loving yourself.
    to whatever degree i'm present,
    i'm a hindrance to your love.

    i require to be flushed away
    like filth clogging a pipe.
    your caustic love dissolves me.
    it pushes me out of the way
    like a plumber's snake
    so that your love flows freely.

    one thing is clear,
    love must eliminate me.

    winnowing the ocean

  46. eternal perfect beloved

    emperor xerxes punished the ocean with whips.
    i keep striking myself with hidden aggression
    as if i could beat my heart into love.

    holding on to the real you is more difficult
    than standing on a pyramid of ice
    which rises up to a peak
    and disappears into reality.

    i don't blame and praise
    but rather my conditioned mind does those things.
    it walks on a carpet of comparisons.

    all thoughts are my thoughts,
    not just good thoughts, saintly thoughts, pretty thoughts.
    also all thoughts are not mine,
    not even the good, saintly, pretty ones.
    no thoughts touch who i really am.

    the thread of your love guides me
    out of the hall of mirrors.
    judgment falls away.
    both positive and negative lead to you
    who are beyond them.

    first priority must be to hold on to you
    in thought, word and deed at all times.
    sink my feet onto the ground, oh beloved,
    and make every step whole and indivisible.
    forgive me this for-and-against mind.

    winnowing the ocean

  47. eternal perfect beloved

    a brain like scissors and a heart like glue.
    no matter how much i cut and paste
    i never manage to pretty up my sense of inadequacy
    within this open-eyed dream.

    i'm like a goldfish in a small bowl.
    the glass looks just like water,
    but somehow i can swim no further.

    you watch me with your eye like air everywhere.
    you are only love.
    all my loveless fantasy misses you completely.

    winnowing the ocean

  48. eternal perfect beloved

    surprising little imagined acts of aggression
    surface in mind like bubbles of poison gas
    percolating through a polluted landfill
    under an innocent and well-manicured landscape.

    the beloved experiences insults as well as praise.
    i hold my thoughts not too loose and not too tight,
    the way a jockey holds the reins of a spirited horse.
    i could write a fat book of apologies
    illustrated by engravings of deep embarrassment.
    the beloved promises to bless me even if i curse him.
    my heart cannot help but melt in such love.

    i welcome any excuse for remembering you, beloved,
    whether flattering or critical,
    trusting that you much better than i
    remain unseduced by the mind's passion
    for contraries and contradictions.

    forgive my little aggressions
    which break into consciousness like a wind of foul gas
    from undigested matter moving through the gut.
    they make meaningless little noises as they pollute
    the space of consciousness for a regrettable moment,
    but they signify nothing.

    let me feast on your beauty with both eyes,
    and take in your cool wisdom through both ears.
    oh beloved, let me hold you tight in the hug of both arms.

    winnowing the ocean

  49. eternal perfect beloved

    my mind says wooing words, like a suitor,
    and sometimes without warning it says hate words
    which knock my heart down like a felled tree
    and leave me wrestling for dear life.

    love wins. love always wins.
    the inseparable union of love
    makes liking and hating relevant.
    without love, no polished floor appears
    for the dances of cheek to cheek or fist to fist.

    winnowing the ocean

  50. eternal perfect beloved

    i call on your forgiveness again and again
    as my rude conditioning continues to assert itself
    with mockery, violence and insult.

    i reach out my arms to hug you, instead i hit you.
    i begin with praise and end with insult.
    i burn with shame, wanting only to kiss and please you.

    what can you find to love in me,
    oh pacific of loving truth?
    only the honesty of my call for rescue
    as i drown in an ocean full of waves
    that i myself create.

    my resistance, like the panic of a drowning swimmer,
    threatens to sink me in a chaos of arms and screams
    broken only by pleading curses.

    bring this secret robot out of hiding, beloved,
    with his program for torturing my heart.
    let him sink by the weight of his machinery
    and drown in his own waves.
    without him, i float like vishnu
    in the still ocean of only love.

    winnowing the ocean

  51. eternal perfect beloved

    remove every desire from me,
    especially those in mind that entangle me in anger,
    and those in body that suck me into lust.

    if for some diabolical reason desire must remain,
    let it be only the desire to please you.

    you are the king of myself,
    while mind is only the prime minister,
    and body the chief of the armed forces.
    let there be no confusion about who's in charge.

    winnowing the ocean

  52. eternal perfect beloved

    curses pop into consciousness like gas bubbles.
    sewer smells shock paradise.
    old angers snake across the path.

    help me bring this junk out from under the rug.
    help me find the unity in praising and cursing
    that drains away desire and fear.

    in reality curses are the same as praises,
    just devices and vehicles for remembering you.
    am i cursing at the bartender
    because he won't give me any more to drink?

    no one can deny that i'm already drunk.
    i'm content with this drunkenness.
    i stumble over mounds of dirt
    which i swept under the rug in times past.

    winnowing the ocean

  53. eternal perfect beloved

    when i raise the glass of love to my lips
    i'm never sure whether the wine
    will be bitter or sweet.

    wine embittered by lust makes me just as crazy
    as any ordinary wino sleeping in an empty doorway.

    wine sweetened by a drop of the ocean
    makes me guest of honor and the host's best friend.

    winnowing the ocean

  54. eternal perfect beloved

    those who will arrest you
    must catch the four horizons
    and bind them in one.

    those who will interrogate you
    must climb the highest heavenly root
    of the tree whose leaves cover earth.

    those who will judge you
    must woo and marry you in silence,
    and consummate the merger in deepest sleep.

    winnowing the ocean

  55. eternal perfect beloved

    i was losing touch with gratitude,
    falling into carelessness,
    and a kind of disappointment in certain knowing.

    but knowing is only the skin of the fruit,
    only the shell of the nut,
    while gratitude is the meat and juice within.

    a cocky boy says rude and mocking words
    in the privacy of our inner companionship, beloved,
    like a suitor's little brother hanging around
    the sublime excitement of our breathless meeting.

    my heart sings a hymn to the little boy
    whose life exploded in a rain of bombs.
    he remembers war panic and he's still afraid.

    oh beloved ocean of only love,
    it's so difficult to see love in bombs
    or make sense out of the kicks of their concussion.
    the world simply bombs its way into domination
    and little boys go up in smoke.

    winnowing the ocean

  56. eternal perfect beloved

    obviously there's a film festival in the theater,
    and i'm shown moments of great variety
    from melodramas and crazy parodies.
    i have to pay for the ticket with my life.

    instead i walk along the quay
    where the rich moor their boats,
    and listen for the sea's invitation.

    oh beloved all-pervading ocean,
    you're not amused by these cartoons either.

    winnowing the ocean

  57. eternal perfect beloved

    i can't win with me!
    when i have a desire
    and you don't give me what i want,
    i get frustrated with you.
    when you give me what i want,
    i get frustrated at myself for having desires.

    in both cases, when i come to sit in love with you,
    my heart clouds over and attention sticks there.

    if i were not an obstacle in my own way,
    i would be grateful
    both when you deny me and when you indulge me.

    in the first case you're wiping away sanskaras,
    and in the second you're giving me a longed-for gift.

    oh beloved all-pervading ocean of only love,
    create that soon i get out of my own way.
    drive this dog out of the christchild's manger.

    winnowing the ocean

  58. eternal perfect beloved

    i call things real that are not real,
    and i treasure worthless falsities.
    fits of doubt and jealousy make me crazy.
    you doctor my insanity with the medicine of oneness.

    i try to help you treat me,
    but my mad behavior gets in your way
    and makes it more difficult.
    you have to wait until i tire
    or give some kind of opening you can step into.

    a single drop of medicine snaps me out of it.
    and there i stand in my embarrassment,
    my old self again laughing foolishly,
    full of apology and gratitude.

    potent medicine, beloved doctor of wholeness,
    brings instant health to the madness of hell.

    winnowing the ocean

  59. eternal perfect beloved

    the world like a hungry tiger
    eats me without apology or remorse.

    the driver who parks his car on my face eats me.
    the neighbor's aggressive children eat me.
    the confounded bicycle that won't work eats me.
    they chew on me with calm and expressionless eyes.

    somewhere in my heart i find a new flank,
    a juicy thigh to throw to the fanged clamp
    of the world's jaw.

    when i was a boy playing guns,
    i counted ten and came alive again.
    now as an adult playing tigerworld,
    i count one, or perhaps count one ten times,
    in honor of the tiger's appetite.

    actually i'm eating my own leg.
    i'm like the toothless old dog who gums a dry bone
    until finally it becomes tasty from his own blood.

    the tiger leaps out of me with a roar of frustration
    and disappears silently into you, beloved,
    without leaving a trace.
    i count on you to swallow the yellow and black striped
    phantom of cars and bikes and kids
    in the omnivorous oneness of your indivisible reality.

    winnowing the ocean

  60. eternal perfect beloved

    how can i be so foolish as to fall
    for your disguise of opposites,
    mistaking your shadow for you?
    i boil with anger when my friend overpowers me,
    and i freeze with icy heart when my enemy embraces me.

    i struggle to free myself
    like a dolphin caught in a tuna net,
    but only become more entangled,
    until you, beloved, dissolve the net
    in the universal solvent of your love.

    winnowing the ocean

  61. eternal perfect beloved

    the world doesn't always play with me
    when i'm ready to play
    and my hands go out in vain.
    sometimes when i'm far from games
    i discover that you amuse yourself in play with me.
    your hand never goes in vain.

    the flavor of your play, beloved,
    sweetens the entire ocean
    and cannot be compared with predictable candies
    which soon become too much.

    i saw a collection of playboy nudes today
    all deftly air-brushed
    and packaged like expensive chocolates.
    body streams toward that magnetic nakedness
    which conceives the race.

    today my wife went out
    and i snuggled with the Odes of rumi instead,
    discovering only on the last page
    that today is rumi's "wedding night."

    your nakedness, beloved, appeals to purity of heart
    the way the sun lifts vapors up to pristine clouds
    from which life-giving rains spring.

    rumi says that language is like a tailor shop
    where nothing fits.
    i say that your play reminds me of a tube sock.
    one size fits all.

    winnowing the ocean

  62. eternal perfect beloved

    maya pinches me between the tools of man and woman.
    every direction i turn brings me face to face
    with another bar in duality's narrow cage.

    you hide behind the fastmoving screen of fantasy.
    i remember and forget you countless times a minute.

    you sit on my neck like a rock.
    you are the entire ocean.
    surely you can dribble a single drop on me.
    my head opens like a barnacle.

    winnowing the ocean

  63. eternal perfect beloved

    do not cling to any opposite, you say.
    cling only to the daaman of the godman
    which is the hem of indivisible truth, love and bliss.

    neither suffering nor pleasure are whole.
    ultimately both disappear into undivided oneness.
    why live life with the goal of minimizing one
    and maximizing the other?

    the very nature of the world is conflict.
    its very essence is division, separation.
    real peace, then, lies beyond the created world.

    unity underlies every duality in existence,
    so plentiful, so everywhere and omnipresent
    as to form an ocean of unities throughout the creation.

    oh beloved ocean, drown my contradictions
    in your everlasting oneness.
    in every moment of time's imagined movement,
    let me eternally live
    the all-pervading ocean of only love.

    winnowing the ocean

  64. eternal perfect beloved

    come back to reality, you say.
    climb out of the mud of misunderstanding
    that grasps the feet and sucks them even deeper
    into endless defense and accusation.
    grab the daaman overhead.

    the moment i touch the hem of the master's garment
    the swamp becomes a river with firm banks
    carpeted in the soft grass of his love
    and warmed by truth.

    i clean my feet in the stream,
    wash my legs, scrub my clothes.
    i lay back on the meadow and dry out in the sunshine,
    enjoying the song of water
    winding its way back to all-pervading oneness,
    back to the indivisible truth of only love.

    i sweep into you the way floodwaters
    surge down a riverbed and disappear
    into the ocean when a dam breaks.

    winnowing the ocean

  65. eternal perfect beloved

    i am a manifestation of your manifestation.
    your creative life in form must unfold
    through every detail in creation.

    frightened, i hold back your full manly expression
    while the apprentice becomes journeyman
    and takes up the tools of mastery.
    he tries their weight, tests their fit in the hand,
    and perceives the purpose of each,
    marvelling at their potential for accomplishment.

    who will do this if you don't and if i don't?
    who are we waiting for?
    we waited for you, kept vigil for you,
    watched our calendars like clocks.

    you came to teach the ways of duality.
    you came to establish the majesty of divine rule.
    you came to transform work and action into love.
    you came to enlighten those overwhelmed by karma.
    you came to give love to the loveless.
    you came to give law to the lawless.

    we wait for ourselves,
    holding our inadequacy out in front of us
    like some stinking chicken gut we can't let go of,
    counting on you to take it away.

    now you arrive in order to awaken sleeping mankind
    from its dream of false awakeness.
    the light of real apocalypse dawns every day
    in our awakening a bit more today than yesterday.

    in this love-fractal of a world
    the pattern of a single day gives the model
    for a year, for a lifetime,
    and for the whole cycle of a soul
    out from god and back to god.

    winnowing the ocean

  66. eternal perfect beloved

    without your love, i would only lie
    on the ground of your creation
    like a dried root without life.
    i could never find my way to the trees
    that blossoms as the oak of your sturdy body,
    the fragrant rose of your heart,
    and the laurel of your luminous mind.

    heart overflows with gratefulness,
    filling the sky with a rain of sweet tears.
    you dissolve the planetary hardness
    of my devotion to ego's choices.
    you open the sky and pour kindness.

    a single seed unfurls gardens of differences.
    it blossoms in space without latitude or longitude,
    and harvests in time without past or future.

    the integrity of divine oneness
    appears to divide hundreds, thousands, millions,
    an infinite number of times.
    oh truth of indivisibility, you remain always only love.

    in reality love has no opposite.
    in illusion love's opposite is manyness
    experienced as separation and indifference.

    the joy of your love runs through my veins as life itself.
    without it i would die.
    only love melts bindings out of mind and sets life free.

    clear out every cloud and shadow
    from the heart of love for you.
    let no darkness hide in your brilliance.
    let no clouds form in the unlimited sky of your love.

    you love me more than i can love myself
    and i must respond to love with love.
    i can't help asking you for more.
    let me greed and lust only for more love.

    winnowing the ocean

  67. eternal perfect beloved

    a golden rain of gratitude falls into my heart,
    watering seeds of love.
    they come alive, awakening a longing
    to live a life of love in thought, word and action.

    living love means not getting discombobulated
    in any deadend duality as if it were real.
    living love means stepping over all lines
    of false challenge,
    giving all to please the beloved.

    living the union of dualities in the indivisible one
    requires total extinction in self,
    complete surrender of false individuality
    to the one real individual,
    total sacrifice of the temporary to the eternal.

    some part of me protests and takes distance
    with a violent gesture
    which creates no among the rushes of yes.

    love dissolves bindings in mind.
    when anger flows into the heart,
    it becomes compassion.
    when aggression flows into the heart,
    it becomes the urge to give comfort.

    the moment pride enters in,
    even virtues become karmic burdens.
    only love cuts through the protests of "me too!"
    love itself is the beloved.

    winnowing the ocean

  68. eternal perfect beloved

    i throw myself into the ocean of oneness
    and merge in the beyond words of unity.

    my pen becomes the universal heart
    writing love on all the imagined walls in creation.

    not even a speck of dust remains
    to testify where they stood.

    winnowing the ocean

  69. eternal perfect beloved

    thoughts pass dreamily by
    like fish swimming through a tropical sea
    or like a visit to an aquarium
    where the same fish circle around
    in one's field of vision.

    when i go home, i don't take the fish with me.
    nor do i assert that this is my aquarium,
    and these my fish.

    your mind, beloved one, like the sea of space,
    swims with stars and planets.
    you touch and penetrate all creatures
    exactly the way water surrounds
    and flows through sea creatures.

    vast human oceans loom no larger for you
    than a fishbowl on the corner of your desk,
    just as giant stars appear to humans
    as mere pinpoints of twinkling light.

    in reality you have no size.
    whoever says that you're vast is right
    but lost far away in your endless imagination.
    whoever says you're minuter than a quark is right too
    but equally lost.

    in reality one step completes the road to you.
    a second step brings one to the outermost reaches
    of wailing and teeth-gnashing in darkness.

    winnowing the ocean

  70. eternal perfect beloved

    you turn the key of love that unlocks the heart,
    throwing it open to the warmth of seven shining suns.
    some say the heart bursts.
    some say it melts.

    when the beloved joins the lover,
    longing ceases and the heart overflows,
    flooding the entire creation
    with the all-pervading ocean of only love.

    winnowing the ocean

  71. eternal perfect beloved

    let words of only love flow,
    beloved all-pervading ocean of only love,
    like rain-bearing clouds
    which blow over dry land delivering life damp.
    your world withers without you.

    words draw us into ignorance,
    giving the impression that you are absent
    and must be carried in from elsewhere.
    in truth the ocean is everywhere,
    like juice in an apple.

    just give us eyes to see the clouds of love
    blowing across the omnipresent beach
    of all-pervading ocean.
    let us taste the sweetness of your grace.

    beloved, our thirst grows acute,
    like a man beside a well without a rope or pail.

    winnowing the ocean

  72. eternal perfect beloved

    oh unbegun and never-ending one,
    a niagara of love pours into my heart.
    the unity of your love frees my head of shadow.

    ultimate knowledge is the science of oneness,
    where every duality admits its deeper unity
    and evaporates in your nuclear fusion.

    wherever love flows, it reaches you.
    suffering and joy come together
    in the unity of cause and effect.
    wherever you go, you step on yourself
    and move through yourself like a blast of wind.

    imagination displays the creation in consciousness
    through the om point of indivisible oneness.
    you self-create, self-perpetuate
    and self-destruct simultaneously.
    light devours darkness while darkness feeds on light.

    winnowing the ocean

  73. eternal perfect beloved

    here you are in your unspeakable indivisibility.
    how can i ignore you and amuse myself
    with the rising and falling of imagination?
    i can't erase the features of reality from my heart,
    beloved, nor be satisfied with appearances,
    no matter how shapely or glamorous.

    thoughts fly through the mind
    like birds in flocks moving together.
    feelings swim through like fish in schools.

    media images stuff the mind fat on party snacks
    that reenter consciousness in moments of quietude
    like onion burps, cucumber belches
    and sudden cola burns in the nose.

    despite streams of pollution in consciousness,
    nothing can pollute the real ocean.
    the oneness of only love runs through even the garbage.

    the surface of a lake reflects
    the passage of the sun and moon and stars,
    as well as every cloud which drifts overhead,
    but the all-pervading ocean of oneness
    has no surface, no reflection.

    dream garbage disappears in awakening.

    winnowing the ocean

  74. eternal perfect beloved

    indivisible oneness enters into duality
    in order to catch our attention
    and draw it out of its limitations,
    first into the all-pervading ocean of only love
    and finally into the very heart of the beloved.

    only love lifts the heart over the head
    where ultimate truth resides in the beyond
    and beyond beyond states of the divine beloved.

    without your love, oh compassionate one,
    we could never shift attention or lift solutions
    out of the massive chaos of three dual worlds.

    winnowing the ocean

  75. eternal perfect beloved

    duality provides a window on unity,
    a place where unity in its infinite oneness
    can be observed and appreciated
    through the endless play of its infinite variety.

    by itself unity cannot be seen
    any more than the eye can see itself,
    but in the infinite abundance of opposites
    which appear to arise from unity
    and barely clothe its oneness
    in varieties of contrasts,
    oneness can be perceived and enjoyed
    in an infinite number of ways.

    the garments of duality
    with which unity clothes itself
    hide nothing from the eye of unity.
    all are utterly transparent.
    unselfconscious oneness shows itself
    both clothed and naked at once.

    winnowing the ocean

  76. eternal perfect beloved

    everything streams out of you
    like rays of light from the sun.

    just as those rays are invisible
    while passing through space,
    becoming visible only when they illuminate something,
    you are invisible until you show yourself
    in the form of dualities.

    winnowing the ocean

  77. eternal perfect beloved

    just as sunrise reminds us of sunset,
    noon points to midnight,
    and a drop of rain conjures up an ocean.

    you're always in attendance, beloved,
    in your indivisible oneness,
    speaking a language of parts
    in order to communicate the whole.

    if we were chopped into tiny bits
    and scattered in the four directions, like osiris,
    we would never cease to be one beyond gain and loss.
    never would we go away and never would we return.

    all remain ever one with you, beloved,
    in spite of impressions to the contrary.

    what flights and falls of imagination!
    they reach the mountain's summit
    and plunge to the ocean depth
    while seated securely on your lap like a loved child.

    winnowing the ocean

  78. eternal perfect beloved

    morning cuts darkness into the appearance of manyness
    gathering itself as worlds
    within the reality of indivisible oneness.
    you urge heart to love the worldly appearance
    as well as the divine reality.

    you coax and pull blossoms of love out of heart
    just as the sun draws flowers out of a green stem.
    you make a busy garden of my heart,
    where fruits distill the flavors of their juice.

    i salute you in my heart, you, myself and others
    indivisibly one,
    not re-joined by love, but eternally inseparable
    in love's monolith.

    winnowing the ocean

  79. eternal perfect beloved

    we co-dream your creation, or better yet,
    you dream your creation through us.

    you dream the forest
    through the eyes of the bear and the elk
    and through the solar eyes of the leaves themselves.

    you dream the city through the eyes of the taxi driver
    and the heavily lidded eyes of concrete and steel.

    you dream desire through the eyes of newlyweds
    and despair through the eyes of the unfortunate.

    you dream the rhythm, the drum, the drummer's hands
    and the dancer's feet.

    you dream the mother's love and the baby's need.

    you dream victory through the eyes of the soldier
    and surrender through the eyes of the saint.

    you dream beauty through the flower's eye.

    in all creation, beloved, nothing can be found
    outside your dream.
    only in the single eyes of the perfect ones
    do you wake up from dreaming and show us the real dreamer.

    winnowing the ocean

  80. eternal perfect beloved

    you are the dreamer whose dream we live in,
    and you are the spark of reality
    within the dream of each of us.

    when the energy of attention doesn't flow out
    through the senses into worldly life,
    it acts within consciousness to create
    the subtle experiences of dream life.

    oh awakener, wake us up from the thraldom of sleep.
    you're like an alarm clock ringing with real silence
    in the midst of the day's imagined noise.

    when you awaken us from our dream,
    we awaken also from your dream.

    winnowing the ocean

  81. eternal perfect beloved

    einstein made us see that matter is in fact energy,
    and developed our grasp of the consequences of relativity.
    now we await the great scientist who will make us see
    that energy is in fact mind,
    and will develop our recognition of the consequences
    of indivisible unity that swallows relativity
    like sky swallows smoke and ocean swallows rivers.

    you always maintain a presence here in relativity,
    beloved, in major and minor forms,
    as well as your constant formless presence
    in the absolute unity underlying relativity.

    the world struggles
    in the pollution of nuclear darkness.
    imagine the bombs jesus could construct
    with his great powers,
    or the electricity pythagoras could generate with his!

    you promised to return as a great scientist in 700 years.
    oh beloved, don't make this world wait so long
    to wake up from this dream of relativity,
    and perceive the light of unity that swallows the sun
    as easily as the sun swallows the light
    of even as many candles as there are stars in the sky.

    please wake us now.

    winnowing the ocean

  82. eternal perfect beloved

    when you turn the pages of the book,
    the dance of meaning sparks from word to word.
    one word illuminates all others.
    one book replaces the entire library.

    just a single ever so slight gesture
    of communication from you
    makes the tragedy in life
    over into the silliest humor of honest comedy.

    in a moment of sparkling awake,
    you play your divine leela.

    winnowing the ocean

  83. eternal perfect beloved

    mind projects the creation in space and time.
    clearly then all sciences --
    physics, chemistry, biology, mathematics, mechanics --
    all in their various ways study mind.
    they elucidate the properties of mind's projections,
    which after all are not different from mind itself.

    social and psychological sciences
    turn attention to less concrete aspects of mind,
    group and individual behavior and archetypes.

    spiritual sciences -- vedic, sufic and mystical --
    directly study mind
    in order to perceive its nature and functioning
    as the creative projector of cosmic illusions
    of matter within space, motion within time,
    and energy within cycles of return.

    spiritual understanding awakens love
    for the one reality beyond illusion,
    and frees mind from identification
    with the limitations of cosmic illusion.

    winnowing the ocean

  84. eternal perfect beloved

    everything in creation comes into form within self,
    exercises the options of form
    and passes out of form within self,
    exactly like a dream within the mind of a sleeper.

    in reality self is the immeasurable depth
    of deep dreamless sleep
    in which dreams arise at the urging of laws
    beyond the grasp of intellect.

    whenever self vibrates with the question "who am i?"
    dreams appear to reply in subtle and solid forms.

    winnowing the ocean

  85. eternal perfect beloved

    oh oneness at work everywhere in stillness,
    you comb the wild fibers of impressions
    into a woolly mass of memories,
    and spin them into threads of sense.

    you twist strands of meaning from the threads,
    and lay up yarns of truth from the strands.

    with the shuttle of your name
    you weave these long yarns
    on the nirvanic loom of absolute oneness.

    you stretch them and lay them together in patterns
    that reveal wholeness,
    like laertes' shroud woven by penelope
    as she waits for odysseus to return from war.

    each night she unravels her threads
    of patient sorrowful suffering
    to begin anew next morning.

    thus unity appears within duality,
    unravelling illusion's pattern of cause and effect,
    which weaves the three worlds
    and binds attention in them.

    winnowing the ocean

  86. eternal perfect beloved

    men and women consistently fail
    to hear the song of your praise.
    some hear it as quaint and poetic,
    suited only for flights of doubtful fancy.

    a few catch the thread of truth
    and follow it like ariadne's guidance
    to the exit from mind's labyrinth.

    an occasional individual hears
    the eternal song of silent praise
    that hymns you so faithfully
    it cannot be distinguished from you yourself.

    winnowing the ocean

  87. eternal perfect beloved

    oh constant and continual renewal of the ancient one,
    although we are fish in the all-pervading ocean,
    we behave like lizards
    in the dune sand of dry deserts.

    let's bathe in this water that washes away
    both the terrifying and satisfying aspects
    of a real ocean with imaginary waves
    and a total fantasy world of islands and mainlands.

    manifest yourself, oh beloved, to a dreaming world
    as the truth of oneness that awakens light in shadows,
    the all-pervading ocean of only love.
    you are the ocean, the ship and the captain too.

    winnowing the ocean

  88. eternal perfect beloved

    the main work is to bring back into the heart
    all those who have wronged one,
    all those whom one cannot love.

    when the heart is clear
    mind soars free over defenses and desires
    to the nirvanic sky of divine oneness.

    the pure light of love shines without shadow,
    beyond the reach of imagination or thought
    in the total silence of breathless oneness.

    all the concerns of mind
    with their ongoing restlessness
    move like shape-shifting clouds in the immaculate heaven
    of reality's indisputable oneness.

    winnowing the ocean

  89. eternal perfect beloved

    this flower of love, this creation
    pulls apart into opposites longing for each other
    behind the appearance of fear and aggression.

    this multi-petalled rose of creation
    catches the eye in a net of color
    and casts a spell over the nose,
    while it tears at the fingers that grip it.

    oh love, you are the indivisible union
    in which opposites gladly obliterate each other.

    oh lover, let every shred of flesh be stripped away.

    oh beloved, more! more! more!
    until your enchantment wipes out everything
    except your beauty bursting the limits of my heart.

    winnowing the ocean

  90. eternal perfect beloved

    everything in creation makes a show
    of turning its back on its mate,
    while they secretly embrace each other
    and whisper your name almost inaudibly.

    only real lovers can hear it
    over the shouts and threats of normal intercourse.

    winnowing the ocean

  91. eternal perfect beloved

    of course real love looks shockingly different
    from media portrayals of love.

    i'm stunned that the world exactly as it is,
    suspended in the ocean of only love, IS real love.

    the media hint about disappointment and struggle in love,
    but they didn't prepare me to accept suffering as love.

    nobody ever mentioned that the bitterest pain
    one day becomes the sweetest drop in love's cup.

    just as it is, this six flags luna park tivoli world
    is nothing other than only love.

    winnowing the ocean

  92. eternal perfect beloved

    whenever we think a thought consciously,
    we unconsciously create the opposite of that thought.

    whenever we speak a word,
    we silently speak its opposite in unconsciousness,
    thus creating simultaneously
    both in light and in darkness.

    mind becomes choked with thoughts
    like an untended garden overrun with weeds.
    false ego is infinitely unconscious.

    thoughts move through your brilliance like shadows,
    real ego is infinitely conscious.

    you feed the heart
    through the infinite consciousness of real ego.
    you water the heart's thirst with overflowing abundance
    that melts the ice of ignorance.

    winnowing the ocean

  93. eternal perfect beloved

    every thought hides half its truth
    like a reversible tapestry
    with opposite designs on each side.
    we may believe this to be front and that back
    or vice versa, this one right, that one wrong.

    but you, beloved, permit no hidden truth.
    in the indivisibility of your omniscience.
    you pull the single yarn of my thinking
    which unravels the interlocked stitches
    of mind's colorful dream work.

    the joy of indivisible union in oneness
    cascades into my heart
    fulfilling its longing for wholeness in love.

    oh single being, thick with all doublenesses,
    like a beehive full of honey guarded by menacing stingers,
    you are forever as busy as a great queen bee
    laying ever more eggs of days full of honey and poison.

    winnowing the ocean

  94. eternal perfect beloved

    i can't say light. i can't say dark.
    you are the one who holds light and darkness together
    by the opening and closing of your mind's eye.

    you are the adamant oneness of reality
    covered over by the projection of soft manyness
    in the divine rem sleep of the sun and moon.

    the brilliance of oneness permits no shadow show
    of dark and light forms in stillness or in motion.

    the sight of you atomizes the entire creation,
    into droplets of imagination that instantly evaporate
    in the heat of your unspeakable oneness.

    source and goal, you are the points of perspective
    behind where the road arises,
    and in front where it disappears in apparent distance.

    winnowing the ocean

  95. eternal perfect beloved

    enlightenment is the final clear seeing
    of what one has been looking at forever
    with differing degrees of miscomprehension.
    fascination with variety causes one to miss
    the indivisible oneness within and beyond it.

    enlightenment means the undeniable realization
    that reality is absolutely indivisibly one,
    and therefore all that which is divisible
    -- matter, energy, feeling and thought -- are illusion.

    enlightenment is the unquestionably clear
    perception of the real and the false,
    the direct intuition of the self and its dream.

    winnowing the ocean

  96. eternal perfect beloved

    without you i'm lonely in a forest of thoughts
    full of black and white machine gun magpies,
    and the naked x's, y's and z's of winter trees.

    when you're with me,
    light outshines a million suns.
    no shadow falls on the wildflower moods of maya.
    love niagaras in heart,
    washing it free of suppressed aggression.

    no matter how people treat me,
    or how they behave toward each other,
    all in fact express only the many faces and tones
    of love for the great variety of beloveds
    who fill the wide world with allurements
    and the pleasures of union.

    winnowing the ocean

  97. eternal perfect beloved

    the golden rain of gratefulness
    becomes the river of grace watering the entire creation
    as it returns to the all-pervading ocean of oneness
    through night and day dream landscapes
    of phantoms and fantasy.

    in reality you have no time or place for dream.
    you walk without legs, fly without wings
    and think without mind.
    oh supreme oneness, whatever you do, i do.

    i find the ocean of oneness
    and give up the duality of asleep and awake.
    can one have a dream about not dreaming?
    i float in the ocean like a wooden alarm clock.

    winnowing the ocean

  98. eternal perfect beloved

    you say that we have had enough of words,
    enough explanations and instructions,
    and now we must live them.

    but you, have you had enough of words,
    enough praise and prayers and thanks
    to fill your fathomless heart?

    writing these words is a great gift for me
    that keeps my attention focused in you,
    a device for constant remembrance.

    so what if they don't please men,
    and so what if they fall short in my eyes too!
    oh beloved, pray listen to the real message
    that lies behind words.

    winnowing the ocean

  99. eternal perfect beloved

    your words nourish the conscious heart
    like breads of palatable love seed,
    as tough and perennial as grass.

    oh all-pervading ocean of shadowfree love,
    what shall i say to the world
    and how shall i say it in order most to please you?

    each day must have its poem
    and every age its classics.
    to whom can a thanksgiving heart sing truth
    and be heard?

    winnowing the ocean


eternal perfect beloved

1. the golden rain
2. shoulder an oar
4. salt from the beloved's table, welcome home
5. no separation is possible, one another
6. the pearl tree, sea rose
7. how the rock awoke

POEMS 1966-1996 | My Story | Quiet Clouds | Giftwaves | Silly Bulls and Dog Growls | Oh This Yes