BABA WOULD NOT RESPOND
It was the first time that I had seen Baba so completely withdrawn within himself. At that time there was no verandah [on the men's side]. Baba's chair would be placed in the open and the mandali would sit around him, but not a word would be spoken.
Eruch would try to strike up some conversation, but Baba would not respond, sitting with his chin down, and only occasionally forcing a smile.
It would be so painful for us. We never saw him this way, as if for the first time Baba had lost his sense of humor, which had never happened before. It was an extremely distressing atmosphere. He said he was having tremendous pressure of work, "You have no idea what I am suffering." Such stray remarks he would make. It was sort of a nerve-shattering experience [for us].
Once, it became so unbearable that for the first time I heard Eruch burst out, "Baba, really this is now unbearable for all of us. We request you to stop this suffering upon yourself. We don't care for any benefit for us; we don't care for realization. Burn us all up! We request you to please ease a little the burden on yourself. We can't bear to see you suffer like this."
There was hushed silence, and in spite of all this, Baba looked up. There was a slight shadow of a smile on his lips and Baba brushed him aside, "Restrain yourself and don't get carried away!" That was the only response Baba gave. We could only imagine what stress he must be under at that time.
LORD MEHER, Online revised ed, pp. 4722-4723
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