[Tavern-Talk] HEART TALK - Letters between Baba and Dr. Goher Irani - Seventh Letter

[Tavern-Talk]

HEART TALK - Letters between Baba and Dr. Goher Irani - Seventh Letter

The letter below, to Baba at Meherabad from Dr. Goher in Bombay dated 
27 February 1938, is the 7th in this series.

As you will read at the end of the letter, Goher asks Baba's permission 
to write to "the girls upstairs," showing how strict Baba was at that 
time with Mehera and the other Eastern women mandali living on 
Meherabad Hill.

Some adjustments have been made for readability.

============================

Boman Lodge
Vincent Road
Dadar
27th Feb. '38

My own beloved Lord Baba,

I could not write to You at once on my coming here to Bombay, due to 
the busy time that I was having at College. Our work at the College 
closes from the 10th inst. and we shall be given preparation time for 
the ensuing University exam which begins on the 26th March. There is 
scarcely a month left now and I feel so nervous, specially dear Baba 
when You never mentioned anything about it to me when I was at Nagar 
with You during the Auspicious Day of Your Holiness' birthday. You 
consoled all the others by saying You would help them through their 
various difficulties and have Your 'Nazar' on them, but what about me, 
why was I kept so so much back in the dark! It seemed to me as if You 
always neglected me and wished me to be away from You. You gave every 
one Your locket of Your own desire, with Your own pavitra [pure, 
sacred] Hands and what about me? Even though I asked You for one You 
never gave me any. My dear Baba I have many such lockets of Yours but 
to me the value of that given of Your own free will and Holy Hands is 
unrecognizable then may it be either diamonds or the atom of Your 
breath.

My darling Baba, the sensitiveness of my nature does not bid me to keep 
silent, please tell me, what fault there is of mine, did I hurt Your 
feelings in any way by breaking Your orders due to ignorance or 
through purpose? My dear Lord if there has been any such mistake, 
sever my head from the body for I am at Your feet, whose trodden dirt 
even I am not worth to lick.

I have been feeling very sad and am very restless after coming from 
Meherabad. I had felt so happy and fine there with You. All the 
desires and cares had gone from me. I was as if in a trance, the 
quietude there was inspiring and the atmosphere pervading with Your 
sweet perfume and luster of joy was intoxicating.

How I hated the idea of leaving Meherabad, even in train whilst coming 
here we were all so dull. My dear Lord You are Love and the wine of 
Your Love has been tasted by the luckiest and choicest of Yours. I 
have been unlucky not to have sipped it even, but still at Meherabad 
for the first time I felt myself encaged in You my Lord, then why dear 
master did You break open the bars and hurl me out. Could You not take 
me to You again? You said that You had Your Nazar on Me, and I am 
happiest for that but not contented. I really do not know what I am 
writing, nothing would stop me from singing praise of my master, nor 
ink as much as the oceans and paper as wide as the blue sky would 
suffice to do so. Lack of time bids me to withhold.

My dear Lord could I write a few lines of thanks to the girls upstairs 
for the trouble they had taken after us during our stay there? Anyway 
please thank them all from me and convey to them my love.

I am Yours most humbly
Gaoher

=================================== 

Jai Beloved Baba!
Archives Team
Avatar Meher Baba P.P.C. Trust

Other Heart Talk letters can be selected at:
http://www.ambppct.org/archives/collections/written_materials/correspondence/heart_talk.htm

To learn more about the Avatar Meher Baba Trust Archives go to:
http://www.ambppct.org/archives

Heart Talk, Letter 325, 4 February 2010
Copyright 2010 Avatar Meher Baba Perpetual Public Charitable Trust