HELPING ME CLEAR OUT THE RUBBISH
The whole time at the Center I kept thinking, "Who is Jesus and who is Baba?" When I went home, I remember it was the next day, I prayed and prayed, "God, You have to let me see the truth. I love Baba so much; I owe Him my entire life, everything, every breath. And yet, I have this conflict between Baba and Jesus and I have to resolve it. Please help me."
The next morning, before I woke up, I had a dream and yet it wasn't a dream. I suddenly felt myself in a different country. I sensed that it was the Holy Land and I thought it must be Jerusalem. I was on a mountain, a little below the peak, and on the top stood Jesus. It was the most incredible vision I had ever had of Jesus. He was so stunningly beautiful. He had white garments on and His eyes were like the Ocean of Love they were so deep and so loving and so beautiful. I exclaimed, "O, Jesus, you've come! You've come! You're going to give me the answer. I'm so happy!"
Jesus didn't say a word. He just looked at me with those fathomless, loving eyes; He was all Love and Peace and Beauty and I waited expectantly for the answer as He stood there in absolute silence. Then He said, "God is One," and directed me to go back to the valley.
When I woke, the whole conflict was gone, as if it had been erased from my consciousness. This was because I had felt the "Godness" the Love of Jesus, and the Love of Baba. This experience resolved my conflict. The form was different, but the "Godness" was One.
I still go through conflicts but I feel now that it's a blessing. Every time Baba gives me a conflict, I feel that He is helping me clear out the rubbish. I used to curse my conflicts, but now I'm really happy.
WHEN HE TAKES OVER, pp. 66-67, ed. Bal Natu
1988 © Bal Natu