ANITA VIEILLARD
BABA'S LOVING CLOWN

Compiled from talks given by Anita Vieillard at Meher Spiritual Center in 1982, 1987, and 1988, and at the L.A. Silence Day Sahavas in 1982.

 
Mohammed the mast had been brought to Cannes. One day Baba asked Anita, "Have you seen Mohammed?" She hadn't, so Baba said "You come tomorrow and see him." So she came very timidly down to the little hut they had built for Mohammed in the midst of this upper-class French neighborhood. She opened the door of the hut to find Mohammed standing there completely nude and Baba was scrubbing him, while His men were bringing hot, steaming buckets of water. She was shocked and shut the door and ran away. But it gave her some idea of the work Baba was doing in the house below and how difficult it all was. ¹

Several of the Cannes group, including Anita, took a trip to Paris. It was Anita's job to warn Mehera if a man was in the vicinity, because at that time Mehera was not allowed to look at any man except Baba. Anita found this very difficult and confusing, keeping a constant lookout for any men in the vicinity and saying "eyes up" or "eyes down" accordingly. She said to Baba, "Baba, didn't you create man also? Now You've made me see them as monsters." ¹

At one point during that same visit to Paris in 1937, Baba was looking out a window with a sad expression, and said, "Ahh, if you were to see what I see . . ." (In later years Anita was to say she felt He was envisioning the devastation of the world war soon to come.) Then He turned to Anita with great authority, and said, "Anita, if you saw a dog all covered with sores, you'd kill him, wouldn't you?" Anita was taken aback. She could only mutter that she didn't know, didn't know if she would do that. In later years she would say that if Baba asked her that now, she would say, "Yes," because her understanding had grown deeper than it was then. ¹

Anita and Roger were married about a year and a half later. Baba had said, "When you love, don't fall in love, rise in love." Anita described their relationship that way, that they didn't fall in love, they rose in love, and their love had become even deeper as the years went on. ¹

The war years were very difficult for Anita, living in France. Even so, she felt Baba helping her get through it. When she was in Paris with Baba in 1937, He had fed her with His hands. Later, during the war, she had the feeling that Baba was "feeding" her, sustaining her, through those difficult times.

When Baba visited the West in 1952, it was planned that He would spend time in Paris, so Anita stayed in Paris to prepare a house for Him. But after Baba's car accident in Oklahoma, the trip to Paris was canceled.

She was able to spend time with Baba during His visit to Myrtle Beach in 1958. She can be seen in movies of that time holding an umbrella over Baba on some occasions. Even so, there were quite a lot of people there compared to the early days, so she didn't get the intimate, personal time with Baba as she had in the '30s. She felt Baba's work was becoming more and more impersonal. "The Baba of here [Myrtle Beach] was already different from the Baba of before." ¹

Her most profound memory of that visit in 1958 was a time when Baba seemed to withdraw inwardly to do His universal work. "I never experienced such a silence, as if the whole universe, for me, stopped . . . It has remained as one of the great moments that I have had with Baba. Not a leaf [moved], there was no air [movement], no one walked, no one talked, and Baba with His hands, and as if He was looking very far . . . but completely silent. It was wonderful." ¹