eric solibakke

"Modern psychology has done much
to reveal the sources of conflict,
but it has yet to discover methods
of awakening inspiration
or supplying the mind with something
which makes life worth living.

"This is the creative task
facing the saviors of humanity."

Meher Baba, Discourses, 1, 65

firm as the rock of baba
solid on the foundation of self-realization
universe constantly created maintained terminated
at every moment

Agora Press
html edition 1999

1982, 1999 © eric solibakke



two whole intervals and a half interval


muses who dance with apollo   1
hearts that gaze upon truth   2
a walking centerfold   3
you know the cold wind that blows in from lake erie   4
the annual ice age retreats   5
like a warrior without armor   6
the sacrifice of my living heart   7
i prayed to krishna   8
i was afraid of you   9
i was afraid to be a weak man   10
o planet of infinitely pliable makings   11
security is bliss   12
i am in control of this life   13
so the game is : create paradise   14


to my parents   15
unreasonable joy   16
first hymn to the angels of deliverance   17
second hymn to the angels of deliverance   18
womb envy   19
city   20
dharma mind   21
jugglers   22
heart stalks with refreshed ardor   23
heartist   24
shore   25
ah welcome !   26
portrait   27
not walled-in   28
wherever my foot touches down   29
buddhamind means nothing left   30
breath   31
although my heart opens and closes   32


grateful hearted   33
world , you seduce me   34
two directions torture me   35
poets of a decaying world   36
voice of silence   37
behind the window opening on darkness   38
i hammer the world with judgments   39
i am falling in love   40
i take this woman in my arms   41
we seize the solid past in hands   42
the edge of an era crumbled and fell   43
true self interest aligns with the divine will   44
all teachers   45


the poet worships apollo   46
skyvast god the father   47
glorious morning   48
visions of paradise   49
daylight eats me up   50
struggling to speak   51
hold on to experience   52
the owl at dawn   53
the essence of religion   54
do not condemn myself   55
i want you not to be rude   56
i love   57
let me leave on earth   58
may this food feed a buddha   59
melodious mycenaeans   60
this morning i wake up   61
under the cottonwoods   62
birds of angelina forest   63


i am the sky's feet   64
i am the electric dance   65
gather around me all you   66
i find the wish fulfilling gem in my heart   67
black and white moon   68
meditation body links with the bodies   69
i am the i am one whole self   70


two whole intervals and a half interval
give three permutations of scale :
two wholes followed by a half - - .
a whole a half a whole - . -
a half followed by two wholes . - -

- - . - - - .    ionian         c-d-e.f-g-a-b.c
- . - - - . -   dorian          d-e.f-g-a-b.c-d
. - - - . - -   phrygian      e.f-g-a-b.c-d-e

- - .  - - .   lydian               f-g-a-b.c-d-e.f
- . -  - . -   myxolydian     g-a-b.c-d-e.f-g
. - -  . - -   aeolian            a-b.c-d-e.f-g-a

. - -  . - - -   locrian            b.c-d-e.f-g-a-b
- . -  - . - -   aeolian           a-b.c-d-e.f-g-a
- - .  - - . -   myxolydian    g-a-b.c-d-e.f-g



  1. muses who dance with apollo

    sing new jerusalem , christ light city
    that we may be a passage-through
    for the great plan to enter the world ,
    blueprint for a divine lifestyle on the pristine planet ,
    that we may embody the new age in flesh and blood
    invigorated by all-inclusive love
    for the discovery of its history in public records of the tribe
    and in private records inwardly maintained

    communicate the new age
    that we may receive it from the abstract
    and out-print it in the very practical matter of this world ,
    a reality achieved by recreation in solid stuff
    of the age of inspiration in place of oppression
    age of highest law
    natural law arising spontaneously from the heart
    where the spirit of law triumphs over the letter

    myth is the language of self singing to self
    of the appearance of divine energy
    in all its degrees of concreteness
    full of personality
    shining like a jeweler's tray of wedding rings

    the pleasures of a full heart flow out on the page ,
    let joy sing its own song ,
    let the human race choose to live forever
    generation by generation
    on a radiant jewel planet of abundant beauty

    open heart surge

  2. hearts that gaze upon truth
    see perfection everywhere
    in the geometry of frost
    in the colors of flame

    hearts that harmonize with truth
    beat in unison with all
    in the land of the temporary
    within the frontier of birth and death
    where mother bleeds and efforts
    to give birth to this eternally dying thing

    hearts in touch with central sun
    create the world fresh and pure
    without regard for limited conventions

    open heart surge

  3. a walking centerfold
    with her jeans buried in her butt
    and wrinkles radiating out from her crotch
    like all roads leading to rome

    : interest is in the eye of the beholder
    the expanding and contracting viewpoint
    that forgets a soul in the lifestream
    and sees a body that looks delicious

    birthday fragments i feel now
    with a new energy that may bring
    new tears and sublime rage
    against the petty cutting and posturing
    of superiority and inferiority

    wonder laughs and stares
    a picasso of inspiration

    birds frolic among branches
    playing the game
    that makes more birds

    sun sparkles in the snow
    "like a million fairies casting spells"
    says chris

    my beloved weeps tears of my creation
    : no pleasure costs so much

    open heart surge

  4. you know the cold wind that blows in from lake erie
    : pigeons beating their wings jump into it
    and stay in the same place

    you know the clouds that pile up around a sunset
    in golden heaps and shapes tintoretto-like
    : lights suddenly appear in dark windows

    you know the earth that trees grip
    with their fibrous feet
    : seeds wait timelessly to knit the generations

    open heart surge

  5. the annual ice age retreats
    in a flurry of leaf and blossom
    while birds in chorus
    welcome spring sun
    across the equator

    the night and day balance of celestial fire
    warms mother's winter-ravaged flank ,
    coaxing fresh herbs out of hiding

    the inner ear perceives
    a sweet cadence of germination
    as life descends on shapeless seeds
    to dress them in root and leaf

    leaf and bud appear
    making every tree the precious one
    found in the road and river of new jerusalem ,
    rooted in earth and water
    branched in air and fire

    the spring tree renews me ,
    my medicine of the cross .
    my heart buds open in the spring sun
    newborn into the tender grace of infancy
    reaching up for wholesome light

    orange light glows in my closed eyes
    as warmth penetrates my cheeks
    to the bone cave
    where my winter brain took refuge
    from cold shadows

    like the tree of four seasons
    i am renewed by the sun
    that returns to lift life out of roots
    where it fled and waited
    in subterranean darkness
    while long winter night
    froze the twig and trunk

    open heart surge

  6. like a warrior without armor
    achilleus after patroklos fell
    i call my mother to the shore

    like a two year old awakening from a nap
    i cry out for mother to end this gulf
    of being alone and unsupported in the world

    the presence of mother satisfies a longing
    in my deep heart and frees my mind
    to attend in peace the song and dance of life

    in the presence of divine mother
    i am the divine infant
    : she secures me in my play

    o poseidon , lord of waves and currents
    that shake the earth and animate the deeps ,
    let my horse be hollow as a ship
    sawn of the precious tree
    that i may bob on the rancorous waves
    of priam's citadel
    : helen calls me now in the voice of my own wife

    it is not possible to achieve freedom
    through any kind of reasonable argument
    : freedom is to be declared and experienced

    open heart surge

  7. the sacrifice of my living heart
    torn from my breast in a moment of outrage
    spilled my love on the road where it ran away

    instant rage filled my heart's hole
    i collided with anger
    i ran with no place to hide and die
    i danced absurdly in wild lights with dark tremors

    the smell of shame lingered a long time
    around the stunned threads of my life
    before the light flowed through them again
    and healed me my tender scar

    open heart surge

  8. i prayed to krishna
    he showed me that winning and losing is a place
    like a place of existence at eternal war
    a viewpoint looking out at all life as conflict

    my head surged with charges and accusations
    a great reeking list of shortcomings
    of exact reasons and specific examples of behavior
    that closed my heart in fear and mistrust of you
    all of it fitting somehow in a scheme of winning and losing
    anger at losing , shame at winning

    i wanted to assign the blame to you
    but underneath i could see my fear
    that you would win and i would lose
    fear drew me repeatedly into the field of battle
    anger at losing would not let me lose without a fight
    and shame at winning urged me to lose

    krishna showed me my own place of competition
    and my own contribution to the fight
    i can no longer accuse you of my crimes
    all the reasons , criticisms , accusations and charges
    i made against you distort the truth like carnival mirrors
    and only the gist remains as communication of pain

    : all i ever said was ouch it hurts , the pain is terrible

    open heart surge

  9. i was afraid of you
    because i wanted to win
    and i always felt
    like i was losing

    i felt you treated my speech
    as nursery babblings
    to be picked up and put away

    i felt you were always right
    and always the authority
    whose permission must be gotten
    whose favor must be secured

    i felt you were strong
    and i was weak
    and must resist you
    and undermine
    your power or else
    you would overpower me
    and make me
    into a mere expression
    of your personality
    and despise me for it

    i felt like you hated me
    and wanted to kill me
    and i feared you
    because you were big
    and i was small

    you were important
    and i was nothing at all

    open heart surge

  10. i was afraid to be a weak man
    dominated by a strong woman
    or any strong , overpowering creature
    it filled me with shame and humility
    and anger that i let advantage be taken of me ,
    a victim , despicable

    i was afraid to be a strong man
    who dominated a weak woman
    or any other creature
    it filled me with feelings
    of insensitivity , opportunism
    and aggressive selfishness , taking advantage ,
    a brute , despicable

    a deep impression
    that something was wrong
    prevented me from delighting
    in the perfections of the world
    the perfections of others affronted me
    and taunted me with the air of superiority
    that crushed and smothered me
    beneath the awful failure and guilt
    of opportunities missed
    and destructive acts of self-defeat

    i deeply felt not intelligent enough
    as if intelligence were the buoyancy
    that could lift me to the surface of deep water
    and keep me afloat ,
    as if intelligence were the light
    whose increase would illuminate the dimness
    and allow me to read the writings of release
    and instructions for correct use
    naturally inscribed in the shapes of all forms

    i swim in a sea of feelings
    i walk naked in a weather of feelings
    while an appearance of reason
    surfaces to cover a fathomless chaos
    of wishes and rewards
    with hasty logic as thin as one night's ice

    i wish to inspire and be inspired
    through energy released
    by evocation of desire and will
    to all-powerful peace and to be myself
    to all-illuminating truth and to know myself
    to all-inclusive love and to love myself

    open heart surge

  11. o planet of infinitely pliable makings
    inwardly shining with paradise light
    awaiting a word and touch of hands
    that open eyes lidded by fear and desire

    i am going back to zero
    back to before opinions
    before advice and instructions
    before stories and interpretations
    back to the original thing
    to the original nothing
    back to the maiden womb of all things

    o planet embossed by buddha's bright foot
    fulfilled with designs to release and relax
    beautified by christ's unfathomable heart
    holding the vast whole in boundless rest

    i am going back to zero
    back to before desires and fears
    before aspirations to be intelligent
    before ambitions to be a great poet
    before appetite for a mate and family
    back to before desire to grasp myths
    before fear of inferiority
    before angry outbursts
    before the impression of imperfection
    back to the original thing
    back to the original nothing
    back to the maiden womb of things

    o planet mother whose dream of paradise
    revives our memories of pure futures ,
    our radiating hearts recover the breath
    of unbound truth and unlimited love

    open heart surge

  12. security is bliss

    the feeling of security
    is the feeling of bliss
    foundation chakra
    base of the spine white light mother

    feelings of security open her
    feelings of insecurity close her

    what a dance of duality
    as the feet come down taking positions
    shiva nataraj on this great continuum
    where exactly on the centerpoint
    security and insecurity unite as one

    open heart surge

  13. i am in control of this life

    i was afraid of the responsibility
    of being the creator
    and the one who suffers in the creation

    i was angry at myself
    for having a physical side to take care of ,
    creating physical plane needs

    buddha opens me to the abyss , the nothing
    christ opens me to the plenum , the everything

    buddha , how to be beyond it
    chirst , how to sanctify it

    void means both here and not here simultaneously
    as in number 5

    neither here
    nor not here
    not here   -   void   -   here      
    both here
    and not here

    void means all forms simultaneously ,
    all forms including nonform

    the world is god's heart
    god's heart is in me

    sat chit ananda
    am one i

    open heart surge

  14. so the game is : create paradise
                              out of available materials

    the part of you that i don't accept
    the part of me that i don't accept
    the part of the world that i don't accept
    the part of the whole lovely truth that i don't accept
    my border , limit , frontier , fragment

    yang is the keeper-pure of yin
    yin is the keeper-pure of yang

    buddha , the gift of mother
    christ , the gift of father

    joy is not limited
    by the limitations of other's love
    i am joyful within myself
    independent of anyone else
    or my relationship with anyone

    i am unlimited in joy and love
    i am lover and beloved
    precipitated by the light
    of sky bright new jerusalem love

    open heart surge


  15. to my parents

    teenagers during world war one
    college graduates during the great depression
    young grownups during world war two
    adults during the korean war
    mature adults during the vietnam war

    amid such distractions , dear parents
    how can i accuse you of wrongdoing ?

    open , my heart , understand and forgive

    unreasonable joy

  16. unreasonable joy

    in bright apollonian mindfields
    muses flash naked feet
    to rhythms of revelation
    and melodies of transformation

    the harper opens his voice
    to every chorus singing :
    i take responsibility for
    poetry and music in the world

    to whom he sings outreaching
    syllable music
    irrigating receptive mindstuff
    poetry arises in breathless silence
    out of divine energy
    to heal both singer and society

    mind as clear and still as a morning lake
    and as full of life in brilliant cycles
    limpid and reflective in thought
    calm and flowing in feeling current
    the spirit of new ages dwells among us

    father-mother view of the long past
    brother-sister view of the great present
    son-daughter view of the unlimited future
    every person creates life
    by the attractive energy of interest

    the purpose of human life
    is to amplify unreasonable joy
    to implement the law of peace on earth
    to carry friendship into the lives of the lonely
    with a mind that asks 'who am i , who am i , who am i'
    like the ringing of a telephone
    to deliver the love of god in word and tone

    unreasonable joy

  17. first hymn to the angels of deliverance

    i long to be unmasked , revealed
    stripped of costume and seen naked
    as i am in truth where i disappear
    and only truth remains

    in my honesty you may discover
    the waves of my feeling
    like the facets of liquid jewels
    scattered to the milky way and beyond
    by winds from all directions

    i loved nobody
    least of all myself
    this miserable world like a cell
    imprisoned me in my insecurity
    full of abysses

    my entire life arose out of inadequacy
    i laid the pretence of competence
    over the conviction of inadequacy
    no accomplishment erases the feeling

    only transcendence frees me
    to escape the limitations of good and bad
    to break through and enter
    the unlimited space of all possibilities

    consciousness conditioned to freedom
    lets go of conditioned mind's
    entangling array of choices and positions
    i discover myself in unconditioned being
    where i experience whole love
    whole lover-loving-beloved love

    the divine radiance of original nature
    not won or earned by accomplishments
    awakens my seeing and i recognize it
    as everlasting was-will-be-and-is original nature
    everlasting original being radiant purity

    unreasonable joy

  18. second hymn to the angels of deliverance

    massive agreement of inadequacy
    dogs me with self loathing
    i secretly delight in other's pain

    hell winds overheat me
    i cool myself desperately
    in the freshness of acceptance

    i hated everyone in my life
    and drove them away with aggression
    or left them dead behind

    i beat my mother , my wife , my friends
    i killed , lied , stole , fucked
    and took deeply of forgetful drugs

    I cannot tell the truth of my feelings
    For fear of compounding hatred
    : you may think i hate you

    constant hot winds burn me up in rage
    i despise my weakness and softness
    i despise my inadequacy

    hell , i burn
    i suffocate in personality

    i can't stand myself
    that you are better than me ,
    strangled by the need to demonstrate
    that i'm okay ,
    convalescing from anger and violence ,
    looking for hidden blessings

    unreasonable joy

  19. womb envy

    holy mother ,
    your daughter quakes my limbs with urgency
    to be one with beauty inseparable from flesh

    i fill with strategies
    to push hard flesh into her gratitude
    even more suddenly to be gone
    and begin again

    the embrace of a pregnant woman
    draws subtle violence from my right knee
    and outrage that she has the body
    that nurtures the seed stolen from me
    by stealth of irresistible beauty
    and rumorlike promises of bliss

    when i see her abuse her child
    or murder it in some frenzy ,
    my heart leaps with gentle relief ,
    her ugliness seems to enhance my luster

    when i express outraged pain
    at being circumcised against my will
    she says as long as you feel like that
    you're stuck and can't get anywhere
    and then after a while she says
    hold me tenderly , caress me , i need love
    and so i beat her again with my scar

    unreasonable joy

  20. city

    electromagnetic city
    full of corners turning me
    back upon myself
    and grooves well worn
    in the public brain

    city called cyclotron
    i go into orbit surpassing sunsets
    laughter at apogee
    weird tears reach out
    weave wires that touch my hair
    shock the unwary

    atomic metropolis
    electron and nucleus
    planet and star

    unreasonable joy

  21. dharma mind

    although i am naked
    you see me fully clothed
    in your own ideas and thoughts

    children and mad people like phantoms
    hide beyond the reach of logic
    beyond the hook of hard reason
    on islands in currents of private flow

    the tide turns this way and that ,
    i stand firm in the tidal flow
    awakening myself to the light
    of what was previously obscure

    my life computer prints out into matter
    the surprise of discovering violence in myself
    all velvet and daggers , like a cat

    underneath these shining smiles and gentle touches ,
    these blessings and encouragements ,
    underneath this tolerance and acceptance
    hides the force of irate violence ,
    a bully who veils his coarseness
    in a knot of nasty thoughts
    like medusa's hairdo in the morning
    when she lifts her squirming head
    from the pillow and realizes
    he did not come yet ,
    the one who backs up by reflections
    on mirror smooth bronze
    and releases soaring horse from her throat

    feelings pass through me like familiar strangers
    presenting messages
    that i grasp or almost grasp
    while reasons constantly fool around
    explaining explaining explaining

    unreasonable joy

  22. jugglers

    jugglers on stages
    keep three balls flying
    through the atmosphere
    of the world's corny music

    the subtle balls of thought
    crystals of light structured from ideas
    fly lightest from their finger tips
    and often disappear in space above them

    elastic balls of emotion
    full of energies in motion
    leap of their own accord from the hand
    and change colors as they rise and fall

    solid balls of deeds
    fall roughly on their palms
    often drawing blood and bone
    as they are lifted again upward on raw muscle

    unreasonable joy

  23. heart stalks with refreshed ardor

    heart stalks with refreshed ardor
    through sububan housefields
    ripening in amber waves of sunshine

    cities of america
    prepare to meet christheart
    unshattered by falling glass alleyways
    coated in neglected color ,
    rejoice in underground rattlings
    and overhead moans

    magnetized steel pulls away from lush greed ,
    rich sewers compost a new world

    unreasonable joy

  24. heartist

    dew sparkles on the grass
    of a new agreement
    beside a dawning sun

    born again into the great remembering
    i grow on such roots as i have
    for the joy of self realization

    know myself
    know what is going on with myself
    be in touch with myself
    communicate with myself
    keep on knowing myself

    come from godself
    a radiance adorned in the three shirts
    of divinity : love power truth
    at the rainbow point
    where red fire and blue water
    with golden yellow air
    come together in beauty on earth

    relate to the soul of all things
    as well as the things
    whole lovely truth
    sat ananda chit

    a smile takes flight
    like a rush of aromatic birds
    tantric as a school of fish

    heartlight rise enchants
    even the shabbiest yard

    unreasonable joy

  25. shore

    sandy dancefloor
    edge of the sea's roar

    muses footplace
    leaps on the land's face

    fiery sun soar
    over the world's score

    round the tide's race
    opens divine space

    enter god's door
    center in his grace

    unreasonable joy

  26. ah welcome !

    out of the great tornado of events
    stirred up by streetmates
    clinging to their ways like squirrels
    ah welcome ! the energy of making it happen

    long playing lives turn
    under the imperceptible dance of the tone arm
    from outer fringes to the still turning center
    ah welcome ! the wizard circuitry
    that reads this movement

    high speed iris flashes motorcycle-like
    across my face ,
    even the ground flies
    ah welcome ! the round brake of a kiss'
    sudden stop face to face

    myself called god in a friendly way
    promises out of history and ancient texts
    outside of time in the present moment
    to meet me naked at the crossroad
    ah welcome ! deliverer of law's power ,
    enlightener of love's bliss embrace

    arm of many hands gripping night's darks
    and tossing them like pebbles into the waves ,
    leg of many feet tiptoeing on accelerators
    ah welcome ! what cannot be gripped or kicked

    the very curve of space bends me into friendly orbit
    around the revelation of center ,
    lines me up equidistant from hollow relief
    ah welcome ! the old child who plays on the shore

    unreasonable joy

  27. portrait

    numerous brief dreams
    after he played her muscles
    on tight palms lined with maps
    promising treasure
    the entire plan collapsed
    like an undercut riverbank
    and only housewalls prevented wild winds
    wider than the memories of old people
    still plugged in to the sweet dilation
    of a baby's arrival

    although her clothing concealed everything
    he labored in her pink shadow
    not knowing any way to snare
    that fleeting moment or preserve it
    among hungry aristocrats
    who urged him with threats and treats
    to close his case and replace it
    with a certain sense of loss

    sometimes he consulted history
    sometimes soothsayers
    yet fundamental confusion
    proved as seedy as wild fruit
    until the heavy tread of angels
    flying silk winged
    turned on a climax of colorful revisions
    then the great argument split open
    like a walnut striking rock
    in response to the law of attraction

    replies fall into his guarded heart
    up to their feathers
    the way bees broadcast
    the whereabouts of wild nectar
    and she bowls her satellite
    nonchalantly out of reach
    persuaded by experience
    that a net of stars will return it
    so they hold each other gracefully
    clean of grammar
    like thirsty rivers
    drinking oceans at their mouths

    unreasonable joy

  28. not walled-in

    not walled-in
    by cloudlight thoughts
    like stones floating away
    on a gentle breath
    into the spacious sky

    breathfilled sky
    cloudsoft insubstantial thoughts
    cloud nine heaven
    at the center of the eightfold path

    grounded on eightball earth
    like bringing the buddha home
    to meet mother

    unreasonable joy

  29. wherever my foot touches down

    wherever my foot touches down
    here is path
    narrow made wide

    i salvage disaster by mining
    nuggets of light
    crooked make straight

    destination and starting place
    disappear into unity ,
    every city made new jerusalem
    paved in gold clear as crystal

    unreasonable joy

  30. buddhamind means nothing left

    taking refreshment from buddha's well
    no water , no earth to contain it
    unconditioned refreshment comforts me

    cube of conditioned mind
    within sphere of unconditioned consciousness
    where cube content comes and goes ephemeral
    while sphere context remains eternal potential

    fine , finer , finest
    human , titan , god worlds

    gross , grosser , grossest
    ghost , animal , hell worlds

    in the six stories of conditioning
    senses crave entertainment
    personality craves accomplishments
    mind craves thoughts
    to stir the colorful compost
    of an invisible tree
    called buddhamind

    when unconscious
    i do not recognize my machinery
    printing out into the world
    how i habitually feel .
    how difficult for my teacher to awaken me !

    no wonder he slaps me with slippers
    bounces rocks off my head
    and crashes my van

    unreasonable joy

  31. breath

    inbreath enters
    you love me
    with loving caress
    planting inspiration
    in heart furrow

    outbreath exits
    i love you
    nurtured in joy
    birthing love
    in world at large

    whenever i love
    i am loving god
    and giving body
    to god on earth
    in lover and beloved

    unreasonable joy

  32. although my heart opens and closes

    although my heart opens and closes
    like an umbrella
    according to the weather
    my love does not increase or decrease

    love is the ground we walk on
    like the rain that enlivens the ground
    the air of rain's origin
    and the warm light that comforts us

    all the world fits into one heart blossom
    every face a petal of heart flower
    fragrant with forgiveness
    refreshed by mingled breaths of acceptance
    overwhelmingly lovely

    unreasonable joy


  33. grateful hearted
    full of privilege
    to love and make love

    inspired by loveliness
    radiantly unveiled
    to enter in deepest measure

    as a single breath
    enfolded in warm beauty
    to give there and receive

    planet anthem

  34. world , you seduce me
    with fragrant women bearing
    cakes and radiant children

    birds fall out of the sky
    looking at young beauties
    elegantly dressed and made up

    clouds come down to peek
    and gasp at their loveliness
    when they are sweetly naked

    world , the song from your mouth
    makes offerings and promises
    like sirens on their lonely rock

    planet anthem

  35. two directions torture me
    in the rip of flying apart opposites

    one pulls me by its nourishing beauty
    like the melody of krishna's flute
    gliding toward completion
    and rising again out of silence
    savory as the expression on buddha's face

    another direction pulls me by its useful beauty
    into the din growling at each other's throats
    in the hungry world
    wild for relief and soothing salves
    held for cash behind counters

    before my legs separate up through my heart
    i call to the bridgers
    to platform this raging gulf
    and make one thing out of source and service ,
    one beauty from the lips of the divine musician
    to the wires of the worldly microphone

    planet anthem

  36. poets of a decaying world ,
    prophets of entropy ,
    do you know me
    when i brighten your darkness
    with fresh energy like a seed
    given birth by the past
    that contains unfurled futures?

    i am the one you long for
    while walking among undignified ruins
    full of props and repairs
    collaborating with old prostitutes
    all fucked out and floor worn

    i am the seed of a renewed world ,
    if i do not tell you
    how will you know it
    behind the walls of your searching
    with eyes trimmed back to bare despair

    even i hesitate to tell you
    and stir up your discomfort .
    what if you dismiss me as mad ,
    send me away among supreme egoists ?
    only my love protects me

    ancients whisper in our ear
    "know thyself"
    while mary's son points out repeatedly
    "I am thyself"

    planet anthem

  37. voice of silence
    trembles at the truth of words ,
    embarrassing revelations
    uttered in idle spontaneity
    or painfully planned to preserve a secret

    though flushed embarrassment come ,
    i open the dialogue ,
    though i stare into the dark night
    which no knobs turn off or on

    though trembling come ,
    my heart clogged with undelivered
    communications ,
    my throat a sagebrush thistle ,
    i continue to speak

    i wish to be loved
    the way i think
    i should be loved

    i want to devour my mother
    i want to command her to make me secure
    i want to love her

    planet anthem

  38. behind the window opening on darkness
    who is there but the abyss of my own ugliness
    the wreckage of my own life
    fallen bodies in my footsteps
    dismembered by narcotic clinging
    slimy tentacles grope from past into present
    i failed my mother and she told me
    i failed my father abandoned on a foreign shore
    i failed my wife seethed in outrage
    i failed my son corrosive hatred
    i failed my friends discarded disappointment
    i failed myself lacerated vision heap

    i reached the bottom of all upsets
    deep in envy and resentment
    full of pride that masquerades as anger
    insecurity disguised as affection

    over my love
    like a cloud hooding a massive peak
    clings stormy anger

    under my love
    like water under swamp moss
    flows slow insecurity

    naked abyss , exposed heart
    struggling to stay open to the world's needs
    from the landscape of my own unmet needs
    wolves devour me in the polar night

    planet anthem

  39. i hammer the world with judgment
    until it takes the shape of handles
    that i can grab to move things around
    in control of fear and desire

    i press my certainties out into the world
    building the appearances i want
    to comfort and torture myself
    with hard crystals of insistence ,
    my belief taking shape
    rocky like soil that anchors
    the heavy tree of ripening experiences

    exhausted by relentless mind activity
    reaching up like mountains of persuasive reasons ,
    falling headlong over precipices ,
    intoxicated on insecurity and doubt ,
    the expedition to know myself peak
    charts breathless vistas and glaciers
    all looking out on landscapes of fear and striving

    i lay my head on tilopa's lap
    and bathe in forgiving rains from clouds
    dense enough to mold a buddha's footprint

    i see the one i wait for and receive messages ,
    maybe a glancing smile expressing
    his full confidence ,
    luminous dawn awakenings
    full of authority and experience ,
    giving whispered council behind shadows
    grown solid from constant use

    planet anthem

  40. i am falling in love
    with a new beloved
    whose beauty i ignored
    whose graceful skill
    i belittled or avoided
    whose ornaments
    i saw as ugliness

    my heart awakens to see
    i overlooked my beloved
    in my search for lovers
    until i discovered
    my beloved in me

    in my new beloved in me
    i see all virtues
    known to mankind

    i see the beauty
    of the angels
    and the enlightenment
    of the buddhas

    i see the healing
    gifts of jesus
    and the insight
    of the gurus

    i see the devotion
    of disciples
    and the majesty of god
    in my new beloved in me

    around the nucleus
    of my beloved in me
    orbits all love ,
    i am lover and beloved

    planet anthem

  41. i take this woman in my arms
    and feed my hunger to be held
    and hugged and rocked
    on the mother's deep bosom ,
    profound hunger not satisfied
    by fucking or playing
    adult games on the bed

    o mother love ,
    let your love come in
    fill my heart with love
    deep hunger for love ,
    deep well of longing to unite
    with you in mutual agreement
    in interlocked body
    in some way that bridges
    the impression of this gulf
    that separates us

    planet anthem

  42. we seize the solid past in hands
    that torque it ten merciless directions

    it turns to clay , mere mud ,
    aflame with light full of clear visions
    like the polish of lenses

    every future is a disaster ,
    a picking up the pieces of a past disaster
    and remolding them into a future disaster ,
    serially like joints in bamboo

    salvations pass through disasters
    into new salvations ,
    simultaneous disaster and salvation cycles

    visions of a renewed planet
    released from the load of rain it bears ,
    like clouds weeping on thirsty land
    where sprout seeds
    that lift against gravity toward light

    planet anthem

  43. the edge of an era crumbled and fell .
    light picked up its burden after resting again
    beside the waters of nile, tigris , indus

    o pioneer ,
    you turned your cheeks to new blows
    that hurled you across unknown oceans
    to the land of open sky

    you crossed the flowered plain
    and floated boats over the continent
    in the blood of redmen

    you saw the big trees
    and pocketed nugget gold ,
    naming the strange mountains

    you stole the bison's collar
    and imprinted the land with barbed wire

    you held your womb open
    to ripen new races

    pioneer , pathfinder ,
    like relay runners
    you pass your spirit to me
    hand to hand
    through visions of a renewed planet
    everfreshly cycled

    planet anthem

  44. true self interest aligns with the divine will
    which is free will
    in service to the whole human race

    out of self awareness and self knowledge
    which is the realization of god
    naturally fall solutions to all problems

    from the viewpoint of god
    which is all viewpoints simultaneously
    priorities are simple , directions easy

    from the viewpoint of humanity
    which is every person's viewpoint taken simultaneously
    one single mankind stands on earth

    planet anthem

  45. all teachers ,
    admired role models , parents
    all drop away
    leaving only their essence :

    be myself
    know myself
    love myself

    finally everyone falls away
    like fuel hoses
    from a giant rocket
    as it leaps to flight
    and achieves take-off velocity
    on it way into orbit

    onrushing mind fills all space
    with profound clutter
    and grotesque judgments ,
    a perpetual dream machine
    powered like a waterwheel fan
    by the incoming and outflowing
    waves of breath

    the world emerges out of sleep
    like a photographic image in developer ,
    dreams die and fall like camphor ash ,
    flower fragile world
    rooted in absolutely nothing

    solar system
    solar system

    one earth , one race , one gender

    planet anthem


  46. the poet worships apollo
    dances with muses

    writes on the cutting edge
    of consciousness

    screams of loss
    fall away in words

    the poet awakens to freedom
    with squeals of joy

    runs far and wide
    on dharma's muscled legs

    songs of love
    sing to your singer

    airs on the absolute

  47. skyvast god the father wraps around
    earth various goddess the mother
    and plays in rain and shine
    tumbling thunder fun

    mother earth in glorious costume
    wears sunlit shafts of mist streaming through trees
    whose leaves reflect the sky they reach for ,
    her jewels of dew on curved grass ,
    her morning flower freshly washed
    on soft fields in motion

    brand new sun intoxicates her body ,
    her thighs rush with cool and warm morning grace

    mother nature lies in his embrace

    airs on the absolute

  48. glorious morning
    fills with awakening
    day child
    born of dark night
    splendid in new light

    glorious morning
    foot step out
    upon what path ,
    hand reach out
    take up what task

    glorious morning
    rejoice with bird
    pipe song
    welcome sun
    shorten shadow too long

    airs on the absolute

  49. visions of paradise orbit earth
    like hopeful moons
    illuminated by ways that flow
    from beyond struggle

    secret locks and keys
    in the free flow of emotions
    keep me searching and testing
    the huge ring of possibilities
    hanging from my belt

    between waking and sleep
    in a world easily forgotten
    on shelves of unconsciousness
    among old bottles where bugs scurry
    in webs and soft dust
    i put things away
    and leave them untouched

    airs on the absolute

  50. daylight eats me up with duties
    and activities that fill the space of earth
    exhausting this potent body
    with food , shelter , transportation
    all taxed and exploited for profit

    daylight drives me to clothing
    that hides my nakedness for a fee

    airs on the absolute

  51. struggling to speak
    against the forces
    that would silence me
    because they are more eloquent

    struggling to act
    against the forces
    that would stop me
    because they are more skillful

    struggling to be
    against the forces
    that would eliminate me
    because they are more important

    airs on the absolute

  52. hold on to experience with a thousand hands
    let go with one hand at a time
    let go with a thousand hands

    search deep in my heart
    what i find there
    is the law of the world

    go to sleep in the vulva dream
    with the stems and seeds of dancing girls

    live the senses
    with their overlay of judgments
    and underlay of emotions

    feed , fight , fuck

    survive , animal
    understand , man
    live , angel

    airs on the absolute

  53. the owl at dawn

    dear lord ,
    i get what i deserve
    and i stew in the juice of my own pain

    my companions offend me
    and my heart breaks ,
    my gifts lie idle while it mends

    dear lord ,
    though my life skirts disaster continually
    i am comforted in my bond with you

    in this land of rock and boulders
    among these chasms
    thunderstorms beat without mercy

    dear lord ,
    you are my guide and my shelter
    to whom can i speak truth but you?

    others cherish distortion
    and cultivate deceit ,
    unwittingly i am sucked into the lie

    dear lord ,
    i come out from you
    to be among people

    it adorns me
    to accept us the way we are
    and give up grief

    airs on the absolute

  54. the essence of religion
    : deal directly with god

    god is the last reference point
    before no reference point at all

    christians triumph through acceptance
    moslems triumph through obedience
    buddhists triumph through realization
    hindus triumph through practice

    find out the truth yourself
    use everybody's help
    don't give up

    god in action
    breathes a world
    full of light

    know him by he loves you

    airs on the absolute

  55. do not condemn myself
    when passion springs satyr-like
    on magnetic auras of women
    achingly beautiful
    : this is god's grace

    do not condemn myself
    when irritation sparks
    or anger combusts spontaneously
    filthy smoke
    : this is god's grace

    airs on the absolute

  56. i want you not to be rude
    and i get assigned to forgive rudeness

    the authenticity of my life
    like sunshine feeds thirsty plants

    i rest in the freedom of the present moment
    everything transformed everything free

    everything changing
    everything me

    airs on the absolute

  57. i love
    even the offensive
    even the unloveable

    my heart opens to include
    even the disgusting
    the crude the thoughtless
    the inconsiderate the absurd
    the insulting

    let all things
    in my heart
    bathe in blood of love

    let all being
    in my heart
    live on blood of love

    airs on the absolute

  58. let me leave on earth
    what i wish to find here
    when i return

    writing poetry for myself
    as beethoven wrote music for himself
    as he wants to find it in later lives

    like a time capsule
    like a golden egg
    like a message woven in and out of memory
    let me deposit in timeless consciousness
    the poems i will delight to find in subsequent ages

    airs on the absolute

  59. may this food feed a buddha
    may this food nourish christ

    may this love evolve a buddha
    may this love enliven christ

    may this work display a buddha
    may this work awaken christ

    airs on the absolute

  60. melodious mycenaeans
    tune to mediterranean vibrations
    of achilles' grief ,
    of orpheus dancing trees
    and arion cooing porpoises
    on the nose of ocean deep motion

    fluid music all vowels
    falls in inner world terrains
    bottomless between river banks
    flowing off to distant river styx
    watering underworld shadows

    bull man pulls the plow

    line by line
    like a lawyer
    ambush centered in maze
    turning back
    upon itself
    where thread rolls
    in and out
    unravelling bull man's
    knit of blind alleys

    airs on the absolute

  61. this morning i wake up full of love
    and tenderness toward you ,
    acutely aware of a sense of loss
    that you are not with me ,
    feeling the pettiness of the stuff between us

    to establish a relationship with you
    outside of the stuff that goes on between us ,
    a relationship of acknowledgements ,
    taking place on the other side of the stuff ,
    in a space called agreement
    where we share and appreciate together

    violence is sexual energy gone astray
    violence is blocked affection

    since you departed so abruptly on the plane
    i am feeling waves of love for you
    and keenly feeling a sense of loss

    you stand out in my mind illuminated
    from within by a white light
    that is very pure of will and very moral

    i love you
    i even love the parts of you that upset me
    and the parts that frighten me

    you are my beloved
    you are beloved to me

    airs on the absolute

  62. under the cottonwoods
    down by the lakeside

    shade softens sun's ray
    breeze blows the heat away

    bird song adorn the air
    waves sound against the shore

    down by the lakeside
    a lovely place to be

    airs on the absolute

  63. birds of angelina forest

    chubitty chubitty chubitty chubitty bird

    jimmy jimmy jimmy jimmy bird

    procedure procedure procedure bird

    cuius cuius cuius bird

    pretty pretty pretty bird

    jeeper jeeper jeeper jeeper jeeper bird

    preacher preacher preacher bird

    pete seeger pete seeger pete seeger bird

    gurdjieff gurdjieff gurdjieff gurdjieff bird

    me too me too me too me too bird

    airs on the absolute



    sunset            dawn


  64. i am the sky's feet
    my beard shines among stars
    planets wander in my throat
    titan melodies fill the far west
    with the music of atlas

    earth my woman
    hugs me close in gravity
    gathers ground from entire interior
    a planet flora'd in living medicine
    to heal the people's ills

    sky reaches through my crown
    earth stretches though my spine
    earth and sky mingle in my heart

    skyborn sound descends into matter and flesh
    that reach up from divine mud's fertile potential
    jeweled alive foundation dancer
    stepping to celestial reverberations
    on feet that spark earth
    with rhythms of light from on high

    play and celebrate
    filling all universe with happiness
    court and mate
    radiating unity throughout divorced worlds

    honorings and offerings

  65. i am the electric dance
    apollo with nine wisdoms
    tai chi of ordinary life
    karate of crisis

    rainbow dancer delivering
    the message of solar fire
    in concentric circles of colored lights
    to show out the life of light
    cycling through darkness
    and drive love into recalcitrant hearts
    through blows of grief and joy

    let me not pretend to be anything
    but open direct experience of contact itself
    beyond psychology depression neurosis
    pneumatic discovery
    paradise in ordinary rubble
    perfection dancing on shiva's feet

    dear lord ,
    feed me that i may feed you
    fill me with spirit
    that i may fill you with spirit
    inspire me that i may inspire you
    save me that i may save you

    honorings and offerings

  66. gather around me all you
    whom i have ever been mad at

    bring back my anger
    and return it to me

    all irritation and shortness
    remove from your bodies

    let go of those energies
    and return them to their source

    here at the source
    let fire consume them

    let earth decompose them
    into their elements

    let water wash them
    and carry them away

    let air blow through them
    and open up space

    let ether transform them
    and recycle them for love

    and you who let go
    of these negative energies

    open yourselves and make space
    in your bodies for love

    in the cycle and spiral
    carry love to your heart

    be lifted and raised
    be freed and inspired

    let go and receive
    make space and be filled

    honorings and offerings

  67. i find the wish fulfilling gem in my heart
    radiating ruby
    the universal gem of all-inclusive love
    with the power of forgiveness
    which transforms even hate into love
    which creates love out of indifference
    and softens the edge of hardness

    i am my fate
    i decide out of ignorance and knowledge
    i choose
    making hells out of the broken parts of paradise

    i do it myself
    use you as an excuse
    let life drift by like afternoon tv

    i feel such a fool
    with my life of ignorance
    bumbling into the woman's crotch
    piping money to a pauper's tune
    driving needlessly into mortal danger

    the last bitter drops of sense
    squeezed from confusion
    water the tree of paradise

    delicious moments of release
    as anger turns to tears

    honorings and offerings

  68. black and white moon
    dips her bucket at the edge of sun sea
    and carries light into darkness

    beauty surfaces at every opportunity
    radiant melody
    fragrant with maidenhood

    love dresses in many costumes
    finally disrobes into utter nakedness

    i fall in love with my mind
    in the form of beautiful women
    who are not really there
    molded over those birdlike bones

    suddenly i break through a wall
    of beautiful bodies
    that deflected my mind always
    into somebody's bed

    every woman gives me life
    from her beauty
    heart wakens to marriage with heaven

    honorings and offerings

  69. meditation body links with the bodies
    of other meditators
    like campfires on a dark plain

    overlapping lights bring vision
    into the world
    through hours of dark night

    drawing inspiration
    from the bottomless well of human beauty

    drawing sustenance
    from legions of throwaway bodies
    recycled through rich muds

    drawing freedom
    from letting go the solidness
    of this thought-up experience

    drawing strength
    from seeing through wheels
    of transparent fear and desire

    contemplating the exquisite beauty
    of a social agreement that works

    weaving a web of certainty
    from the experience of unity
    out into the world
    gathering it all in one net

    honorings and offerings

  70. i am that i am one whole self
    moving with every motion of universe

    i am that i am indivisible
    by the force that appears
    to separate one into two at odds

    i am that i am three times
    : seeding , cultivating and harvesting events

    i am that i am four sunrises
    at the corners of earth's cycles

    honorings and offerings


open heart surge
unreasonable joy
planet anthem
airs on the absolute
honorings and offerings


POEMS 1966-1996 | My Story | Quiet Clouds | Giftwaves | Silly Bulls and Dog Growls | Eternal Perfect Beloved